A ruined evening

Thanks to all the people who have shown concern for my well being.

I suppose I owe an explanation for my departure.

Last night was a total farce. Things were going along as they always had when some tosspot called careful told us to be just that.

Who the hell do they think they are. I'll tell you who they are, another anon for all intents and purposes and that's how I'll treat them thank you. They weren't brave enough to use an account name so anon they will be.

That blog belongs to mayo and mayo is the only one I will take orders from as to what to say. You know that I don't gossip out of respect to the family. I know we don't want to encourage outsiders. But be honest guys, face it, the blog is already out there. The damage has already been done. Who knows how many people lurk without commenting, loads I'll guess. Everyday we get more anons willing to put a name to themselves and open an account. These people have been lurking from the start. How many others are lurking in silence, who knows. But they've already seen it all and heard it all.

I have never said in words I am 100% sure mayo is ------ or ss is -------- (see, I'm still keeping it quiet out of respect).

My point here, is that we are smart enough not to do that. No-one needs to tell us, we already know. If mayo came on the blog or left a message at his location to say "let's not mention this" that's fine, OK, we won't. He hasn't done that, he lets the conversation flow. If He was so bothered, He would delete the remarks anyway people, remember that.

What I am mad about is how an anon called careful came on and suddenly became boss. Everybody ran round saying "oh, they are so right". As I've said, we don't need an anon telling us that.

I thought we knew how to deal with anons. We ignore them or bully them away. Why suddenly did the atmosphere change when careful appeared.

You all know what I am talking about, you all know how some of you behaved. Please don't feel like I think I am more important than I am, these are just my upset feelings.

I really don't understand why this was different. others noticed the change in atmosphere too and others didn't like it.

It was people's reactions to careful that caused all the upset. Why did you all do it? We should have gone "yeah, thanks for the heads up" and gone back to what we do best. But no, some people ran round like headless chickens. The result of following actions left others feeling excluded. And I certainly wasn't the only one to feel that way.

L, please don't upset yourself sweetie. I love you. The list did not upset me at all, I was near the top remember. You did that with all the best intentions and I know that. I hope you are not upset because you thought you'd pissed me off.

This is what triggered it. And I know I over reacted and I apologise but hear me out and you may understand why i felt so excluded.

I noticed someone ask about the kickball game. Someone replied that it was in the clinic, you'd already done it but if they were quick they could catch the end. The only other place I knew was d--c--s m--o( see, secret again).

I went over there and the first messages I saw were very conspiratorial ones talking about deleting stuff. You know who you are. I stayed in there and asked if this was the kickball place and no one fucking answered.

I went back to mayo's and asked there and no one fucking answered. I noticed that others, TJ for one, were also starting to feel excluded.

I kept asking around and no one fucking answered. A friend told me that they had been lurking at DM and had seen you deleting stuff. They had heard of a mayo clinic at a yahoo site. This may have been wrong info but that is what I was told. That person is a sweetie and they can't help it if what they thought turned out to be wrong.

That info, the dodgy conspiracy looking messages at the start of DM and other people at mayo's feeling excluded and no one fucking answering me, lead me to feel that i wasn't family enough to be included.

Maybe this was wrong but people's behaviour tonight led to those feelings,. I wasn't the only one to feel this way. I thought, enough is enough. This is stupid now and I'm not coming back until things get back to normal.

That is still how I feel. If things do get better I shall return. Until then goodbye.

P.S. I,m blaming no one but careful for this. I have no ill feelings for any family members.