Well, after fucking up, all you can do is apologise.
People either accept an apology or don't. You can only apologise so many times, after that it drains your soul and you have to walk away.
I am once again sorry, people make mistakes in life. I'm human, I fuck up.
That's all, I can't do this any more.
On a brighter note, thank you to all the wonderful people at mayos. I love you guys beyond words.
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10 comments:
sweetie, you know, you can always come and talk to me, I miss you *hugs*
and if they don´t except your apologize, then just forget them, they´re not worth it....
take care *hugs* xxx
Thank you pixie sweetie. I love you soooooo much.
Miss T, I wasn't sure if you'd see this at my house, so I'm posting it here too.
When I say that some people want to hear about problems, I say it both for you and for me. The people who are truly your friends really do want to know what's going on with you, no matter how sad, angry, depressed, or fucked up you feel, even when you think you don't want, need, or deserve their help. It's something I frequently forget about (or intentionally ignore because I'm stubborn like that), but it helps me to reminded. I figured you could use the same type of reminder.
The challenge for me is learning to trust people enough to accept their offer of help. In the past, I've been hurt very deeply by people I trusted, so now I'm very skittish, even with my closest friends. My gut reaction is the same as yours - I want to retreat and hide, keep my problems to myself, and not burden anyone else. It's a constant source of frustration for them, and I'm often amazed that they stick around to deal with me when I can be so difficult.
But that's how I've learned who my real friends are. The ones who are still here are here for a reason, and they really do want me to tell them all about my problems. If they didn't, they wouldn't ask. They wouldn't listen. It wouldn't matter to them.
It's important to remember that it does matter. No matter how horrible you feel at any given moment, remember that you do matter to someone, and probably to many people. There is always someone who is thinking about you, someone who wonders how you're doing, someone who would love to hear from you, even if all you have to share are problems. Most likely, they'll help you remember that you actually have more to share than just problems, even if you couldn't see it at the time. Sometimes it takes an outside perspective to remind us that there's hope.
And for all those other people who don't care, don't ask, or don't want to listen -- fuck 'em. They're not real friends anyway, and they're probably not worth your time or energy. Move on. Stick with the people you know you can rely on.
That's a piece of advice for both of us.
I hope you're feeling a bit better, sweetie. You are always welcome at my house, rain or shine.
Andrea, once again your words fill me with strength.
You have always been a good friend from the very start of my blogs.
You constantly show me support.
You amaze me all the time with how you always manage to say the words that make me feel better.
I hope I can be there for you sa much as you are for me.
And you are right, the one's who don't want to hear about my troubles can knickers. I know who my real friends here are.
I love you sweetie.
Hi Miss T! You kinky thing you! (Ya know I love it!) ;p I just wanted to pop by and rather lately (as is my style, muhwah)wish ya a Happy Valentines Day! I hope you got hugs and kisses -but if ya just got an ass-wound, You Are Not Alone. Hurts to sit down! (I'm gonna get that little shit one of these days...) Hope you are grand! (Thank you for the typo! I feel like part of the family now!) ;p loves ya Miss T! <333-l/d
You neglect to admit to what the problem was... again. That's the problem I have with you but you refuse to stop and see that. Apologize all you want but what is it for?
It has nothing to do with your depression or assumptions of my ignoring you. (BTW, I ignore you so damn much that I built you a temple. Out of paper but still... Yes, they ALL know just how "not worth it" I am.) The entire issue is over the fact that you can run your mouth off about the same people who DID listen to your problems and DID invite you to their most private places. Why then could you not say that there was a problem to my face and give me a chance to discuss it with you? Behind the back, much?
Oh and... you keep making mysterious mention of the "friend" that encouraged you to keep your blog last time you felt ignored and unwanted, change up the topics and do a new weekly thing but you never, not once, said that it was me. The one who treats you oh-so-badly. Nice.
I won't be bothering you again but I think it's fair that I get to respond. I sure as hell hope you manage to find some peace.
I love you too Lewis sweetie. You have cheered me up no end.
I hope you had a great valentines too.
You are one of my fave family members abd I can't wait to hang out with you more.
We can get as kinky as you like.
Yes, you have apologized. Several times. But I think you're missing the point of my anger. What got me bent the most was that you had asked to keep your grievances private. Within emails. I respected your wishes, only to find out that you posted everything on your blog before you even sent me your emails.
I apologized in private and was slaughtered in public by a friend. How would that make you feel?
I didn't have a chance to talk to you. I wasn't given a chance. The "fuck 'em" attitude hurt. Made to look like a shitty friend. Made to feel bad because people posted on my blog. Made to feel bad because I needed one friend in particular to help keep me from drowning. She was my lifeline I needed.
How am I to trust that this won't happen again? I don't take this from my 3D friends, what makes you think I should take this from you?
Sweetheart, how are you? I've missed you 100% this past little while. I must speak with you. FS dropped the bomb that you threw George out. Is that what you think of our friendship? *sniffle* Kidding! lol.
I don't know exactly what you are apologizing for sweetie. But whatever happened, I'm here to talk to you. You know that right? This past week, when all the shit in my life fell to pieces, I really desperately wanted to talk to you. I didn't think you had your computer back.
All my love;
-007
My dearest missT,
I hope you had a great V-day!
You must know that you're such a sweetheart and I really love talking to you!
I couldn't make it last friday but if we're lucky, I get to the next kickball game :D
All my love,
XOXO
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