While I'm gone

Because I will miss you all while I am gone.

Laura RIP

LAURA DIED.

There, I said it. makes it all real now I guess.

It is so sad, Laura was the one who battled bravely, always had a smile on her face, always believed she would beat it. Even thought it was hilarious when she had chemo and had to have a wig.

She talked me and mum through what mum had to face and always gave us strength. She was an amazing person. Mum is totally gutted too.

We have all done some crying and lots of cuddling.

We know that mum only had a few cells that hadn't spread anywhere and her doctor told her she would have a total cure. She didn't need chemo so we know mum was a total different case to Laura.

I went to the shops today and the first thing I saw when I walked through the door was the tickled pink range. that is a range of t-shirts and trackies sold to raise money for breast cancer. Made my head hurt, I had to get out of there.

My sis came home early from work today so I could cry on her shoulder.

We'll be OK, it's just that Laura was such a big part of our cancer story too and we wanted a happy outcome for everyone.


Sadly, not to be.

Week 40 London

I will be in London doing my teaching course.

Wish me luck.

I'm just so sad that while I'm gone, all this shit is happening to Laura and her family. What a crap time for them. It is just so heartbreaking.

Week 39 FOR LAURA

I have just literally come off the phone to find out that my friend who had breast cancer before mum,the one who gave mum advice and reassurance through her treatment, has had her cancer come back. It has spread and she probably won't survive the week. She is such a lovely woman with really adorable kids and they are gonna be heartbroken.


Please can everyone send their thoughts to her and her family. Her name is Laura.

I am numb, I don't know what to say.

It was gonna be her 40th this year. She was gonna have a big party or a nice family holiday. That is all gone for her.

Her poor poor family. This is gonna be an awful loss for them. Laura was a wonderful loving, fun and happy person. She has never let her cancer get her down and she always believed she would beat it.


I am gonna go away and cry now.

Week 38

We went to grans grave armed with huge shears and saws. We got the big fern tree down that our Auntie Anne planted years ago. We told her we were doing that cos it had got out of hand. She said that was a good idea. Then we attacked the fern that the people on the neighbouring grave had planted. We cut it right back to its roots. We laid some gleaming white gravel down and put some ornaments there and it looks sooooooooooo much better. I hope as winter is coming on, those plants won't grow back for ages.

Then we were fuming cos we walked down the cemetery to see my cousin Dom's grave and some tit had planted a fern tree on each side. We told my Auntie Anne (Dom's mum) later and she said they would have to go. It's one thing having the ferns up in the cremation graves cos there's not a lot underground except boxes with ashes but down where the burials are, what if those roots start moving the coffins. We don't want coffins to be pushed up, it'd look like something out of thriller.

Week 37

So, this week I didn't do much really.

I called out the noise nuisance team on Tuesday to witness the noise from him next door. If he has it on within working hours, they will come to listen. Usually, he gets round this by playing it loud at night. The lady came on her way home from work and I also pointed out to her his crappy jungle back garden. She is gonna start a complaints file about that too. She has wrote to him telling him he must tidy it up.

As far as I am concerned, the more we can complain about him and the more difficult we can make his life, the better. I am not vindictive but I want him evicted and I will do whatever it takes.

I sound bummed cos I am. It just goes on and on.

Week 36

So, this week I purchased my coach ticket to London. Not long to go now, I'm getting a little nervous.

I had a major room clear out this weekend and maybe I should have let sleeping dust lie cos I am suffering now. How is it possible for so much snot to come out of one head?

The grand prix this weekend was amazing, Belgium always is. Me and mum did a lot of screaming at the screen, so much fun.


I have heard that there is a Jack The Ripper exhibition on at the Docklands Museum while I will be down in London. I'd love to go see that cos I love anything Jack The Ripper, I have so many books on the subject. I guess I am drawn to gruesome stuff, we can't all like pink and fluffy things eh?

Week 35

Sunday me, mum and sis went to a gala for the Macmillan cancer charity. We went mad at the second hand book stall like we always do.

Then it rained like it promised to do and most people went home including us.

Before we got there, we went for a meal at the restaurant in the supermarket opposite the park where the gala was held. I had some scrummy cheesecake.

Not much else happened next week. Oh, I did do some shopping for the stuff I'll need to take to London for my teaching course at the end of the month. I bought all my stationary etc and I ordered a Nightmare before Christmas backpack from the Disney shop.