Well, today is the three year anniversary of the death of my cousin Dominic. I still miss him so much. He was only 25 years old and he made me laugh more than anyone else on earth.
His death will always be a mystery, we don't have any answers. It was awful getting that phone call in the early hours from my Auntie Anne. We drove to her house and all huddled together as we waited for news. The police were fucking shit, every time we heard from them it was a different story.
Dominic was from Sheffield like me but he was living with his girlfriend in Stoke. He didn't like it there and came back to Sheffield often. He had not long been doing the job of a postman and he was really enjoying it. Even so, he and his girlfriend were planning to come back to Sheffield.
We were due to see Dominic again at Christmas time but the Sunday before his death, we decided to go to a car boot sale. We had never been to this one before and we couldn't believe it when we bumped into Dominic there. It was a lovely surprise. I didn't then of course that it would be the last time I would see him alive. His younger brother to this day still goes to that car boot sale every Sunday (I don't think he had ever been to one in his life before this happened) as it is a link to his brother.
From what we learned of the events that night, this is what occurred. My cousin was on his works Christmas do. He had been drinking but they had been out all day so it was spread out and he wasn't drunk. There were no drugs in his system, Dominic wasn't like that. None of our family partake of those kinds of things, we are a nice bunch. If you met us I'm sure you'd agree. He had been looking after one of the girls in the party who was a little the worse for wear. He took her outside for fresh air and the others joined them . Everyone said that Dominic was not pissed or out of his head and he totally had his wits about him, so it is a mystery as to why what happened next happened.
They all got into a taxi to go home and suddenly my cousin said "I have to go somewhere" and got out of the car and ran off. He was later spotted on CCTV on a roundabout. After that we don't know how he ended up where he did as there were no more cameras on that stretch. My cousin was hit and killed trying to cross a motorway and no one has the faintest idea what he was doing there.
We know he wasn't pissed or drugged, we know he wasn't trying to kill himself but we don't and will never know what he was doing there. He was killed instantly, which was better for him as he didn't suffer. The lady who hit him wasn't drunk and there was nothing they could do to prevent the accident. No one was to blame, which I'm glad cos otherwise I would have hunted that person down and killed them with my bare hands, no joke.
It was awful viewing his battered and broke body at the funeral home. His ankles were all broken and his feet hung over the end of the bed. It was heartbreaking. He had broken almost every bone in his body.
His funeral was lovely, it was held in a church which is a couple of roads away from my house and just around the corner from the school me, my sis and my cousins attended. I am anti religion and I was thinking that if the vicar got all religious I was gonna leap up and smack him, I was so angry about Dom's death. Instead he said "what can I tell you, when I hear of a tragedy like this I question if there is a god and I don't know the answer". From then on it was all talk about Dom and his life. We had a huge projection screen up and showed many photo's of him and the only religious aspect was the couple of hymns that were sung. I think the vicar did a wonderful job, it just felt so right.
On the way to the graveyard I noticed that at one point, a postman stopped as he saw the cars go past and he took his has off and bowed down. As Dom had been a postman I thought how strange but touching that was. I remembered how my Dad was mad about buses and on the day of his funeral as the cars were going up the street, we reached the school me and my sis went to and a bus was coming down the road. The driver stopped and bowed his head. These things are weird but comforting.
Well, I'm thinking of Dom today and I just wanted you to know about my beautiful wonderful cousin Dominic.
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19 comments:
Thank you for sharing this story. I can't believe I found the quote and posted it on this day of all days.
I'm not a really religious person either, so sometimes I find coping with death a little more difficult. Well, that was until I saw that quote. Something just changed for me. Not that it will ever make death of a loved one any easier, but somehow it brings a little comfort.
Take care of yourself today. I will be thinking about you.
Love,
Shannon
Thank you so much Shannon. That quote was beautiful. Maybe it was some strange fate that you posted it today.
Thank you sweetie.
Miss T,
My deepest sympathies for your loss. I know this must have very hard to write, but sometimes it does help to see the words you have in your mind.
It's always hard to lose someone you are close too, and seems even worse when they are young.
I know your cousin is still with you, still in your heart. And of course, for you,
"Dominic"
Spoken aloud as I type.
Love you dearly,
L.
Thank you so much L. Your kind words mean a lot.
MIssT, I'm so sorry for your loss. It always seems as if the brightest lights get extinguished the earliest.
I will think of you and Dominic today and say a little prayer for the both of you.
Miss T,
This was so beautiful, your love for cousin is pure and unfaltering.
I cried as well, my tears for your cousin, you and your loss, your family and friends and for the memory of one I adored, whose passing was so swift and unexpected I went into severe shock.
But time does heal. I am moving on, as I believe you are too, however some days it just hits me.
I keep a personal journal to express my thoughts, and your post is a good way of dealing with sometimes heightened feelings.
I offer you a strong hug and my sympathy today. He is never truly gone, he lives in your heart.
I too, will repeat his name for you,
"Dominic" (Shouted loudly)
Lots of love,
Katherine
Thank you Jen and Katherine. You are both wonderful people.
He sounds like a truly incredible person, the world is lesser for his leaving.
My sympathies.
-Amyranth
Thank you so much Amyranth. I saw people were comisserating with you but I missed what is was about.
Whatever you are going through, you are in my thoughts and I wish you well.
Blesss you.
Ah sweetheart,
My heart breaks for you. What a tragic story. I can only imagine how you feel, not knowing why he did what he did. That may be possibly the worst part of the whole thing.
As I'm sure you know, my dad passed away almost 20 years ago. We all knew he wouldn't last long, after the diagnosis was made, and we sort of expected it, but not when it happened.
Sometimes I still wonder what went through his mind at the end. He had had leukemia, but it was an aneurysm that took him. Often I wonder, was he scared? Was he relieved? Did he see angels coming to take him on? What? It's the not-knowing that gets to me.
Dominic must certainly be in a wonderful place, if for no other reason than that you loved him. Your love sent him on to a lovely new home, wherever he may be.
And you will most certainly see him again. I feel it in my heart.
When Lisa told me about your post, I said his name aloud three times. I'll say it again tonight, many more times. And right now.
"Dominic."
For you, Caz darling.
I love you oh so much.
Jen
Thank you so much J, those words were beautiful.
It is never easy losing loved ones and the older you get, the more it happens.
My thoughts go out to you and your dad.
Loss is something I know all too well. All of the good words have been taken already by those above. Rather than repeat them, I'll simply second their sentiments. If you would happen to need someone to vent to, I am always available.
Thank you so much AIP. I just needed to get these words out tonight.
Miss Tottenham,
Thank you for sharing the story. It must've been hard, yet, it must've felt like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders by writing this.
I'm very very sorry to hear about your cousin. I am never good with saying things to comfort people..
I love you very much, hun!
Hugs&Kisses
- 007
Thank you so much paperheart. You always say the sweetest things.
Aww, Caz, sweetie, I'm so sorry.
I still miss my grandparents. I know that they were both old (my grandpa was 89, my grandma was almost 92), but it was still hard. I had a friend commit suicide when I was still in school, and four more who were killed in car accidents. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm no stranger to loss, but it never gets any easier. My heart goes out to you and Dominic -- if you need me, you know how to find me. *HUGZ*
Thank you so much sis m. I'm so sorry for your loss too.
MissT, I am so sorry for your loss. Both of you are in my prayers. If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here.
"Dominic"
xoxo
bittersweetheart
Thank you bittersweetheart. I've emailed you sweetie.
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