Happy New Year

This is how you say happy new year in hieroglyphics.

The transliteration is wpt-rnpt nfr

To say it, read: wepet renpet nefer

Sad feelings

I have been absent for a short while as I felt I needed the break. I have decided to comment here while it is quiet as people have expressed worry for me and I wouldn't want anyone to worry on my behalf. I'm sure everyone here has much more important things to be worrying about than me. The fact that they are worrying about me makes me teary for two reasons. 1, that they are such wonderful people and I feel so lucky to know them and 2, that I am a stupid bitch who has put them in this position once again.

I have depression you see, right now I am having a shitty time. In recent days, I have found it harder and harder to converse on these blogs. Time and again, I find my hands hovering over the keys only for me to let them drop once more as I realise for the hundreth time today that I have nothing of use or interest to contribute to the conversation.

I know by now you must all be sick to the back teeth of me whinging and fed up of my boring attempts at joining in. I have started to bore myself.

It has been a demoralising time in my life and this week it has reached a head. I left my last job to spend time with mum after her breast cancer diagnosis. Luckily she is fine now. I have been unemployed for a year now. I have been trying to think about what I actually want to do with my life and do you know what I decided? Fuck all. I know less now than I did a year ago, how depressing is that.

I have been offered a place at university to do a degree in History and Archaeology. I shall have to turn it down though as I cannot finance it. As I have done a degree before, I cannot get any loans.

I tried to get onto a photography course at college but it was all booked up.

I have been on a handful of interviews but not got the job. They have been jobs I didn;t want anyway, I just felt like I should be trying.

I have decided that I want to do a course that would enable me to teach English to foreign students, this will have to take a back seat to finding a crappy job now though.

Things have reached a head. I am up to the limit on my credit card now and the savings I have been using to pay the credit card bills is now depleted. I have to get a job as of yesterday.

I know some of you might think that I could have got off my arse more to find a job. As well as my depression, I live next door to an alcoholic who plays his music loud all night. I grab sleep as and when. I don;t have regular sleeping patterns and being able to get up in the morning to go to a job is out of the question. I shall have to look for jobs with afternoon and evening shifts.

The council are trying to help us with our nuisance neighbour. They put in a recording box to capture the noise a few weeks back. But by law they have to warn him that they are doing so, so as you can imagine, for a week he was quiet. Nothing was captured. You are only allowed these boxes three times so judging when to have them then going on the waiting list for them is a game in itself.

People here will notice that for someone in the UK, I am up pretty late. That is because while not in a job, I have ended up following the neighbours sleep pattern of music till 5-6:30am, sleep till the afternoon, start again with the noise in the evening.

As you can see, my energetic get up and go to find a job got up and went and left me here with my eyebags.

So as you can imagine, with no sleep, depression, and no idea what i want to do with my life, a job hasn't happened as yet.

It has to now though cos the cash has run out. My darling sister is gonna come with me next week as we head to the agencies in town. I need an imediate start job, I don;t have the time to be messing with application forms. Also I need the afternoon shift jobs. Wish me luck with that. I will end up doing a crappy soul destroying job but it has to be that way for now. It won;t help my depression but then again, what does (pizza and football but not much else).

This place used to be my daily escapism, for hours each day the crappy real world didn;t exist and I could talk to the most wonderful people. I have never done this before, I have never talked to people online until I came here. In the begining, I lurked for a couple of weeks before summoning the courage to join in. I'm glad I did cos I had so much fun and it felt like an amazing family.

Lately, my feelings have changed. We have mean anons that come here just to launch personal attacks. That is bad enough, we deal with anons. Now it seems that "regs" are hiding behind the anon name to slag off other regs. Pepole have told me for a while that this has been happening and I covered my ears cos i didn;t want to believe it, but in recent days I have seen it to be true.When and how did it come to this? Where did the family spirit go?

It also seems that when nice anons appear, because we have suffered at the hands of mean anons, people are reluctant to speak to them. Not only that though, they try to actively discourage others from having what was a nice conversation with an nice anon. I for one would like to think that I can speak to whomever I choose without being told by others.

We have to remember that this place doesn't belong to us. We have no right to try to decide who belongs here and who doesn't. This is mayo's place, not some domain for others to take charge of.

Also, this is mayo's place. It doesn't belong to Gerard way, it belongs to a blogger who calls them self mayo. It is a place where a lot of MCR fans found each other. I enjoy as much as the next person a talk about MCR, but day after day, the same discussion over and over and over leaves me with nothing to say. At times, I type something only to delete it again cos I have said it 20 times before. I am not trying to tell anyone what they can and can't talk about, I'm just trying to explain why sometines I feel as if I have nothing left to say.

I have felt this feeling more and more these days as talk of Gerards marriage descends into anon attack which descends into regs arguing. Often I look at this screen shaking my head and thinking once more "I have nothing to say". It is upsetting to witness. I feel helpless at times.

This place was a refuge for me, it is becoming another instigator of depression. I feel as if I can't talk about it because no one else feels the same and they will think that I am always moaning. I don;t want to be always moaning but alas, I feel that I am.

I know that my conversation is becoming boring, I bore myself. Boring or moaning is all I seem to do these days. I feel like it is wrong to subject you to this. That is why I find myself speaking less and less here. Yes, I have depression but I have no right to drag the rest of you down too. You all have problems and you don;t want to be listening to mine.

I am just so sorry that you worry about me cos I shouldn;t keep putting you in the position of worrying. I looked at the comments on my blog the other day, they all consist of "I am worried about you, are you OK?, What is wrong?" over and over. I thought to myself "is that the only reason people look at my blog" and it seems to be the case.

I made my profile private cos I didn;t want anyone to feel that it needed to be swamped with those kind of messages again, also cos it was irrelevent. My latest blog was a heiroglyphic message of goodwill to you all. It took me a while to depict the letters. I added them clickable to make it easier to view. Although I had multilpe comments on my blog, I doubt a single one of them even bothered to look at what I had written, none of the comments referred to it. I realised then just how irrelevent the few things I did have to say had become.

Just before I left, I tried to join in the convo at DM. I was ignored and talked over so I gave up. Time and time again while I am on AIM with Entropy, we talk to each other and say "I commented at such and such but everyone ignored me". We tell each other when we have commented just so that we can acknowledge each others comments as no one else does.

Having nothing to say and being ignored when you do is what ultimately led me to stay away. Yesterday my uncle and cousin came to visit. I spent the time with them and it was a blessing not to even look at the computer.

They are still here today. They have all gone to my aunts but I am too depressed to do the big family thing. There will be too many of them there and I can;t force happiness and laughter. Instead of bringing them all down, I have decided to stay away. I feel the same way about my blog family. I don;t want to bring you down so I'd better stay away.

I just wanted to let the good people who have asked after my wellbeing know what is going on in my head.

Also, me and DG have exchanged phone numbers and have been in contact by text. I haven't got round to answering emails yet but I didn;t want any of you to think that I was answering hers but not yours.

I hope that said it all.

A new message

This is an Ancient Egyptian message. It reads ankh wedja seneb. This means "may you live, prosper and be healthy".


This may be easier to read

The treasue thief

Once again, I don't think anyone will read this but here goes nothing.



the treasure thief



Rameses the Third, the Pharaoh who, when he first came to the throne, wished to marry Helen of Troy, ruled for many years and Egypt grew prosperous under him. Early in his reign he defeated invasions from both Palestine and Libya; but after this he lived at peace with his neighbours and encouraged trading to such an extent that he became the richest of all the Pharaohs.

Rameses gathered his treasures together in the form of gold and silver and precious stones - and the more he gathered the more anxious he became lest anyone should steal his hoards.

So he sent for his Master Builder, Horemheb, and said to him, 'Build me a mighty treasure house of the hewn stone of Syene; make the floor of solid rock and the walls so thick that no man may pick a hole in them; and rear high the roof with stone into a tall pyramid so that no entrance may be broken through that either.'
Then Horemheb, the Master Builder, kissed the ground before Rameses, crying, 'Oh Pharaoh! Life, health, strength be to you! I will build such a treasure house for you as the world has never seen, nor will any man be able to force a way into it.'
Horemheb set all the stone-masons in the land of Egypt to work day and night quarrying and hewing the stone from the hard rock on the edge of the desert above Syene where the Nile falls from its most northerly cataract near the isle of Elephantine. And when the stone was hewn, he caused it to be drawn on sledges down to the Nile and loaded on boats which bore it down to Western Thebes, where the temple of Rameses was already rising, which stands to this day and is now called Medinet Habu.

Under the care of the Master Builder the walls of the new building were reared and a pyramid was built over the whole, leaving a great treasure chamber in the middle. In the entrance he set sliding doors of stone, and others of iron and bronze; and when the untold riches of Pharaoh Rameses were placed in the chamber, the doors were locked and each was sealed with Pharaoh's great seal, that none might copy on pain of death both here and in the Duat where Osiris reigns.
Yet Horemheb the Master Builder played Pharaoh false. In the thick wall of the Treasure House he made a narrow passage, with a stone at either end turning on a pivot that, when closed, looked and felt like any other part of the smooth, strong wall - except for those who knew where to feel for the hidden spring that held it firmly in place.

By means of this secret entrance Horemheb was able to add to the reward which Pharaoh gave to him when the Treasure House was complete. Yet he did not add much, for very soon a great sickness fell upon him, and presently he died.

But on his death-bed he told his two sons about the secret entrance to the Treasure House; and when he was dead, and they had buried his body with all honour in a rock chamber among the Tombs of the Nobles at Western Thebes the two young men made such good use of their knowledge that Pharaoh soon realized that his treasure was beginning to grow mysteriously less.

Rameses was at a loss to understand how the thieves got in, for the royal seals were never broken, but get in they certainly did. Pharaoh was fast becoming a miser, and he paid frequent visits to his Treasure House and knew every object of value in it - and the treasure continued to go.

At last Pharaoh commanded that cunning traps and meshes should be set near the chests and vessels from which the treasure was disappearing.
This was done secretly; and when next the two brothers made their way into the Treasure House by the secret entrance to collect more gold and jewels, the first to step across the floor towards the chests was caught in one of the traps and knew at once that he could not escape.

So he called out, 'Brother! I am caught in a snare, and all your cunning cannot get me out of it. Probably I shall be dead by the time Pharaoh sends his guards to find if he has caught the Treasure Thief; if not, he is certain to have me tortured cruelly until I tell all - and then he will put me to death. And whether I live or die, he or one of the royal guards will recognize me, and then they will catch you, and you too will perish miserably - and maybe our mother also. Therefore I beg you, as you hope to pass the judgement of Osiris whither I am bound, that you draw your sword and strike off my head and carry it away with you. Then I shall die quickly and easily; moreover no one will recognize my body, so that you at least will be safe from Pharaoh's vengeance. '

The second brother tried to break the trap. But at last, realizing that it was in vain, and agreeing that it was better for one of them to die than both, and that if his brother were recognized their whole family might suffer, he drew his sword and did as he had begged him to do. Then he went back through the passage, closing the stones carefully behind him, and buried his brother's head with all reverence.
When day dawned Pharaoh came to his Treasure Chamber, and was astonished to find the body of a man, naked and headless, held fast in one of his traps. But there was still no sign of a secret entrance - for the Treasure Thief had been careful to remove all tracks - while it was quite certain that the seals on the doors had not been broken.

Yet Pharaoh was determined to catch the Treasure Thief. So he gave orders that the body should be hung on the outer wall of the palace and a guard of soldiers stationed nearby to catch anyone who might try to take it away for burial, or anyone who came near to weep and lament.

When the mother of the dead man heard that the body of her son was hanging on the palace wall and could not be given the sacred rites of burial, she turned upon her second son, crying, 'If the body of your brother remains unburied, his spirit cannot find peace in the Duat nor come before Osiris where he sits in judgement: instead he will wander for ever as a ghost, lost upon earth. Therefore you must bring me his body - or else I go straight to Pharaoh and beg for it by the love which he bore to your father Horemheb his Master Builder. If he learns that you are the Treasure Thief, I cannot help it; but I will at least bury you with your father and brother in the great tomb of Horemheb.'

At first her son tried to persuade her that the burial of the head was enough: for this he had set secretly where Horemheb lay. And then he pointed out to her that it was surely better for one of her sons to lie unburied than for both of them to die. But she would not listen to him, and he was forced to promise to do his best to recover his brother's body.

So he disguised himself as an old merchant, loaded two donkeys with skins of wine, and set out along the road which ran by the palace wall.

As he passed the place where the soldiers were encamped he made the donkeys jostle against each other, and he secretly made holes in the wine-skins which had bumped together as if some sharp pieces of metal on their harnesses had done it.
The good red wine ran out onto the ground, and the false merchant wept and lamented loudly, pretending to be so upset that he could not decide which of the skins to save first.

As soon as they saw what was happening, the soldiers of the guard came running to help the merchant - or rather to help themselves. This they proceeded to do until the two damaged skins were empty, and the wine was already on its way to their heads.

By this time the merchant had made friends with his gallant rescuers, and was so grateful to them for saving his wine from being wasted on the desert sand that he made them a present of another skin of wine, and sat down to share it with them. They did not refuse their help when yet another skin was broached; but before it was emptied they were past saying anything, and lay snoring on the ground with their mouths open.

Darkness was falling by this time, and the false merchant had no difficulty in taking down the body of his brother from the wall, wrapping it in empty wine skins, and carrying it away on one of his donkeys. Then, having cut a lock of hair from one side of each soldier's head, he went triumphantly home to his mother - and the funeral was completed before the morning.

When it was light and Pharaoh discovered that the body had gone, his rage was great, and he caused the guards to be laid out and beaten on the feet with rods as a punishment for their drunkenness.

'Whatever the cost, I must have the Treasure Thief!' cried Pharaoh, and forthwith he invented a new plan to catch him. He disguised one of his own daughters, a royal Princess, as a great lady from a foreign land, and bade her camp before the city gates and offer herself in marriage to the man who could tell her the cleverest and wickedest deed he had done in the whole of his life.

The Treasure Thief guessed at once who the strange maiden was, and why she was asking these questions. But he was determined to out do Pharaoh in cunning. So he went to visit the Princess just as the sun was sinking, and he carried with him, hidden under his cloak, the hand and arm of a man who had lately been executed for treason by command of Pharaoh.

'Fair Princess, I would win you to be my wife,' he said.
'Then tell me the cleverest and the wickedest things that you have ever done,' she answered, 'and I will say "yes" to your offer of marriage if they are wickeder and cleverer than any I have yet heard.'

As the sun went down behind the hills that hid the Valley of the Kings, the Treasure Thief told his tale to the Princess.

'And so,' he ended, 'the wickedest thing I ever did was to cut off my own brother's head when he was caught in Pharaoh's trap yonder in the secret chamber of the Treasure House; and the cleverest was to steal his body from under the noses of the soldiers who were set to guard it.'

Then the Princess cried out to the royal attendants who were hidden nearby as she seized the thief, saying, 'Come quickly, for this is the man Pharaoh is seeking! Come quickly, for I am holding him by the arm!'

But when Pharaoh's attendants crowded in with their lighted torches and lamps, the Treasure Thief had already slipped away into the darkness, leaving the dead man's arm in the Princess's hands - and she saw how cleverly she had been tricked.
When Pharaoh Rameses heard of this further example of daring and craftiness, he exclaimed, 'This man is too clever to punish. The land of Khem prides itself on excelling the rest of the word in wisdom: but this man has more wisdom than anyone else in the land of Khem! Go, proclaim through the city of Thebes that I will pardon him for all that he has done, and reward him richly if henceforth he will serve me truly and faithfully.'

So in the end the Treasure Thief married the Princess and became a loyal servant of Pharaoh Rameses III. Nor did he ever have any further need to enter the Royal Treasure Chamber by the secret entrance made into it by Horemheb the Master Builder.

Re and creation

I suspect that nobody actually reads the stories I post which is an absolute shame. These stories are amazing, I wish everybody could see the beauty in them that I do. They are amazing pieces of literary work.

If anyone reads this, enjoy.


Re and Creation



In the beginning, before there was any land of Egypt, all was darkness, and there was nothing but a great waste of water called Nun. The power of Nun was such that there arose out of the darkness a great shining egg, and this was Re.

Now Re was all-powerful, and he could take many forms. His power and the secret of it lay in his hidden name; but if he spoke other names, that which he named came into being.

"I am Khepera at the dawn, and Re at noon, and Tem in the evening," he said. And the sun rose and passed across the sky and set for the first time.

Then he named Shu, and the first winds blew; he named Tefnut the spitter, and the first rain fell. Next he named Geb, and the earth came into being; he named the goddess Nut, and she was the sky arched over the earth with her feet on one horizon and her hands on the other; he named Hapi, and the great River Nile flowed through Egypt and made it fruitful.

After this Re named all things that are upon the earth, and they grew. Last of all he named mankind, and there were men and women in the land of Egypt.

Then Re took on the shape of a man and became the first Pharaoh, ruling over the whole country for thousands and thousands of years, and giving such harvests that for ever afterwards the Egyptians spoke of the good things "which happened in the time of Re".

But, being in the form of a man, Re grew old. In time men no longer feared him or obeyed his laws. They laughed at him, saying: "Look at Re! His bones are like silver, his flesh like gold, his hair is the colour of lapis lazuli!"
Re was angry when he heard this, and he was more angry still at the evil deeds which men were doing in disobedience to his laws. So he called together the gods whom he had made - Shu and Tefnut and Geb and Nut - and he also summoned Nun. Soon the gods gathered about Re in his Secret Place, and the goddesses also. But mankind knew nothing of what was happening, and continued to jeer at Re and to break his commandments. Then Re spoke to Nun before the assembled gods: "Eldest of the gods, you who made me; and you gods whom I have made: look upon mankind who came into being at a glance of my Eye. See how men plot against me; hear what they say of me; tell me what I should do to them. For I will not destroy mankind until I have heard what you advise."

Then Nun said: "My son Re, the god greater than he who made him and mightier than those whom he has created, turn your mighty Eye upon them and send destruction upon them in the form of your daughter, the goddess Sekhmet."

Re answered: "Even now fear is falling upon them and they are fleeing into the desert and hiding themselves in the mountains in terror at the sound of my voice."
"Send against them the glance of your Eye in the form Sekhmet!" cried all the other gods and goddesses, bowing before Re until their foreheads touched the ground.
So at the terrible glance from the Eye of Re his daughter Sekhmet came into being, the fiercest of all goddesses. Like a lion she rushed upon her prey, and her chief delight was in slaughter, and her pleasure was in blood. At the bidding of Re she came into Upper and Lower Egypt to slay those who had scorned and disobeyed him: she killed them among the mountains which lie on either side of the Nile, and down beside the river, and in the burning deserts. All whom she saw she slew, rejoicing in slaughter and the taste of blood.

Presently Re looked out over the land and saw what Sekhmet had done. Then he called to her, saying: "Come, my daughter, and tell me how you have obeyed my commands."
Sekhmet answered with the terrible voice of a lioness as she tears her prey: "By the life which you have given me, I have indeed done vengeance on mankind, and my heart rejoices."

Now for many nights the Nile ran red with blood, and Sekhmet's feet were red as she went hither and thither through all the land of Egypt slaying and slaying.
Presently Re looked out over the earth once more, and now his heart was stirred with pity for men, even though they had rebelled against him. But none could stop the cruel goddess Sekhmet, not even Re himself: she must cease from slaying of her own accord -and Re saw that this could only come about through cunning.

So he gave his command: "Bring before me swift messengers who will run upon the earth as silently as shadows and with the speed of the storm winds." When these were brought he said to them: "Go as fast as you can up the Nile to where it flows fiercely over the rocks and among the islands of the First Cataract; go to the isle that is called Elephantine and bring from it a great store of the red ochre which is to be found there."

The messengers sped on their way and returned with the blood-red ochre to Heliopolis, the city of Re where stand the stone obelisks with points of gold that are like fingers pointing to the sun. It was night when they came to the city, but all day the women of Heliopolis had been brewing beer as Re bade them.
Re came to where the beer stood waiting in seven thousand jars, and the gods came with him to see how by his wisdom he would save mankind.

"Mingle the red ochre of Elephantine with the barley-beer," said Re, and it was done, so that the beer gleamed red in the moonlight like the blood of men.
"Now take it to the place where Sekhmet proposes to slay men when the sun rises," said Re. And while it was still night the seven thousand jars of beer were taken and poured out over the fields so that the ground was covered three times the measure of the palm of a man's hand with the strong beer, whose other name is "sleep-maker".
When day came Sekhmet the terrible came also, licking her lips at the thought of the men whom she would slay. She found the place flooded and no living creature in sight; but she saw the beer which was the colour of blood, and she thought it was blood indeed -- the blood of those whom she had slain.

Then she laughed with joy, and her laughter was like the roar of a lioness hungry for the kill. Thinking that it was indeed blood, she stooped and drank. Again and yet again she drank, laughing with delight; and the strength of the beer mounted to her brain, so that she could no longer slay.

At last she came reeling back to where Re was waiting; that day she had not killed even a single man.

Then Re said: "You come in peace, sweet one." And her name was changed to Hathor, and her nature was changed also to the sweetness of love and the strength of desire. And henceforth Hathor laid low men and women only with the great power of love. But for ever after her priestesses drank in her honour of the beer of Heliopolis coloured with the red ochre of Elephantine when they celebrated her festival each New Year.

So mankind was saved, and Re continued to rule old though he was. But the time was drawing near when he must leave the earth to reign for ever in the heavens, letting the younger gods rule in his place. For dwelling in the form of a man, of a Pharaoh of Egypt, Re was losing his wisdom; yet he continued to reign, and no one could take his power from him, since that power dwelt in his secret name which none knew but himself. If only anyone could discover his Name of Power, Re would reign no longer on earth; but only by magic arts was this possible.

Geb and Nut had children: these were the younger gods whose day had come to rule, and their names were Osiris and Isis, Nephthys and Seth. Of these Isis was the wisest: she was cleverer than a million men, her knowledge was greater than that of a million of the noble dead. She knew all things in heaven and earth, except only for the Secret Name of Re, and that she now set herself to learn by guile.

Now Re was growing older every day. As he passed across the land of Egypt his head shook from side to side with age, his jaw trembled, and he dribbled at the mouth as do the very old among men. As his spittle fell upon the ground it made mud, and this Isis took in her hands and kneaded together as if it had been dough. Then she formed it into the shape of a serpent, making the first cobra -- the uraeus, which ever after was the symbol of royalty worn by Pharaoh and his queen.

Isis placed the first cobra in the dust of the road by which Re passed each day as he went through his two kingdoms of Upper and Lower Egypt. As Re passed by the cobra bit him and then vanished into the grass. But the venom of its bite coursed through his veins, and for a while Re was speechless, save for one great cry of pain which rang across the earth from the eastern to the western horizon. The gods who followed him crowded round, asking: "What is it? What ails you?" But he could find no words; his lips trembled and he shuddered in all his limbs, while the poison spread over his body as the Nile spreads over Egypt at the inundation. When at last he could speak, Re said: "Help me, you whom I have made. Something has hurt me, and I do not know what it is. I created all things, yet this thing I did not make. It is a pain such as I have never known before, and no other pain is equal to it. Yet who can hurt me? None knows my Secret Name which is hidden in my heart, giving me all power and guarding me against the magic of both wizard and witch. Nevertheless as I passed through the world which I have created, through the two lands that are my special care, something stung me. It is like fire, yet is not fire; it is like water and not water. I burn and I shiver, while all my limbs tremble. So call before me all the gods who have skill in healing and knowledge of magic, and wisdom that reaches to the heavens."

Then all the gods came to Re, weeping and lamenting at the terrible thing which had befallen him. With them came Isis, the healer, the queen of magic, who breathes the breath of life and knows words to revive those who are dying. And she said:
"What is it, divine father? Has a snake bitten you. Has a creature of your own creating lifted up its head against you? I will drive it out by the magic that is mine, and make it tremble and fall down before your glory."

"I went by the usual way through my two lands of Egypt," answered Re, "for I wished to look upon all that I had made. And as I went I was bitten by a snake which I did not see -- a snake that, I had not created. Now I burn as if with fire and shiver as if my veins were filled with water, and the sweat runs down my face it runs down the faces of men on the hottest days of summer."

"Tell me your Secret Name." said Isis in a sweet, soothing voice. "Tell it me, divine father; for only by speaking your name in my spells can I cure you."
Then Re spoke the many names that were his: "I am Maker Heaven and Earth." he said. "I am Builder of the Mountains. I am Source of the Waters throughout all the world. I am Light and Darkness. I am Creator of the Great River of Egypt. I am the Kindler of the Fire that burns in the sky; yes, I am Khepera in the, morning, Re at the noontide, and Tum in the evening."

But Isis said never a word, and the poison had its way in the veins of Re. For she knew that he had told her only the names which all men knew, and that his Secret Name, the Name of Power, still lay hidden in his heart.

At last she said: "You know well that the name which I need to learn is not among those which you have spoken. Come, tell me the Secret Name; for if you do the poison will come forth and you will have an end of pain."

The poison burned with a great burning, more powerful than any flame of fire, and Re cried out at last: "Let the Name of Power pass from my heart into the heart of Isis! But before it does, swear to me that you will tell it to no other save only the son whom you will have, whose name shall be Horus. And bind him first with such an oath that the name will remain with him and be passed on to no other gods or men."
Isis the great magician swore the oath, and the knowledge of the Name of Power passed from the heart of Re into hers.
Then she said: "By the name which I know, let the poison go from Re for ever!"
So it passed from him and he had peace. But he reigned upon earth no longer. Instead he took his place in the high heavens, traveling each day across the sky in the likeness of the sun itself, and by night crossing the underworld of Amenti in the Boat of Re and passing through the twelve divisions of Duat where many dangers lurk. Yet Re passes safely, and with him he takes those souls of the dead who know all the charms and prayers and words that must be said. And so that a man might not go unprepared for his voyage in the Boat of Re, the Egyptians painted all the scenes of that journey on the walls of the tombs of the Pharaohs, with all the knowledge that was written in The Book of the Dead, of which a copy was buried in the graves of men so that they too might read and come safely to the land beyond the west where the dead dwell.

Think happy thoughts

Send this eCard !

Dunno

Do you ever feel, why do I even bother?

A cute crimbo story

"A tale that the poet Ruckert told
To German children, in days of old;
Disguised in a random, rollicking rhyme
Like a merry mummer of ancient time,
And sent, in its English dress, to please
The little folk of the Christmas trees."

A Little fir grew in the midst of the wood
Contented and happy, as young trees should.
His body was straight and his boughs were clean;
And summer and winter the bountiful sheen
Of his needles bedecked him, from top to root,
In a beautiful, all-the-year, evergreen suit.

But a trouble came into his heart one day,
When he saw that the other trees were gay
In the wonderful raiment that summer weaves
Of manifold shapes and kinds of leaves:
He looked at his needles so stiff and small,
And thought that his dress was the poorest of all.
Then jealousy clouded the little tree's mind,
And he said to himself, "It was not very kind
"To give such an ugly old dress to a tree!
"If the fays of the forest would only ask me,
"I'd tell them how I should like to be dressed,
"In a garment of gold, to bedazzle the rest!"
So he fell asleep, but his dreams were bad.
When he woke in the morning, his heart was glad;
For every leaf that his boughs could hold
Was made of the brightest beaten gold.
I tell you, children, the tree was proud;
He was something above the common crowd;
And he tinkled his leaves, as if he would say
To a peddler who happened to pass that way,
"Just look at me! don't you think I am fine?
"And wouldn't you like such a dress as mine?"
"Oh, yes!" said the man, "and I really guess
I must fill my pack with your beautiful dress."
So he picked the golden leaves with care,
And left the little tree shivering there.

"Oh, why did I wish for golden leaves?"
The fir-tree said, "I forgot that thieves
"Would be sure to rob me in passing by.
"If the fairies would give me another try,
"I'd wish for something that cost much less,
"And be satisfied with glass for my dress!"
Then he fell asleep; and, just as before,
The fairies granted his wish once more.
When the night was gone, and the sun rose clear,
The tree was a crystal chandelier;
And it seemed, as he stood in the morning light,
That his branches were covered with jewels bright.
"Aha!" said the tree. "This is something great!"
And he held himself up, very proud and straight;
But a rude young wind through the forest dashed,
In a reckless temper, and quickly smashed
The delicate leaves. With a clashing sound
They broke into pieces and fell on the ground,
Like a silvery, shimmering shower of hail,
And the tree stood naked and bare to the gale.

Then his heart was sad; and he cried, "Alas
"For my beautiful leaves of shining glass!
"Perhaps I have made another mistake
"In choosing a dress so easy to break.
"If the fairies only would hear me again
"I'd ask them for something both pretty and plain:
"It wouldn't cost much to grant my request,
"In leaves of green lettuce I'd like to be dressed!"
By this time the fairies were laughing, I know;
But they gave him his wish in a second; and so
With leaves of green lettuce, all tender and sweet,
The tree was arrayed, from his head to his feet.
"I knew it!" he cried, "I was sure I could find
"The sort of a suit that would be to my mind.
"There's none of the trees has a prettier dress,
"And none as attractive as I am, I guess."
But a goat, who was taking an afternoon walk,
By chance overheard the fir-tree's talk.
So he came up close for a nearer view;
"My salad!" he bleated, "I think so too!
"You're the most attractive kind of a tree,
"And I want your leaves for my five-o'clock tea."
So he ate them all without saying grace,
And walked away with a grin on his face;
While the little tree stood in the twilight dim,
With never a leaf on a single limb.

Then he sighed and groaned; but his voice was weak
He was so ashamed that he could not speak.
He knew at last that he had been a fool,
To think of breaking the forest rule,
And choosing a dress himself to please,
Because he envied the other trees.
But it couldn't be helped, it was now too late,
He must make up his mind to a leafless fate!
So he let himself sink in a slumber deep,
But he moaned and he tossed in his troubled sleep,
Till the morning touched him with joyful beam,
And he woke to find it was all a dream.
For there in his evergreen dress he stood,
A pointed fir in the midst of the wood!
His branches were sweet with the balsam smell,
His needles were green when the white snow fell.
And always contented and happy was he,
The very best kind of a Christmas tree.

Happy Crimbo

Send this eCard !

For Everyone

Thank you, just thank you.

A new day

Hello people, I want to apologise profusely for last night. It wasn't your place to have to babysit me.

I do however want to thank each and everyone of you for being such good friends. I couldn't have got through it without you.

I can't begin to describe how swollen my eyes are today from all the crying, I have been lying down with cucumber slices on them but it hasn't done much good.

I'm so sorry if I worried you all. I tend to have a really bad night like that at least once a year and you were all unfortunate enough to be around when it happened. I know how draining it is and I want to apologise.

I especially want to apologise to the people on AIM and maybe explain a little about what happened last night.



This time last year, I didn't react to Dom's death like this. That is because we were helping mum through her cancer treatment and had important stuff to focus on. I guess this year now that that is over and my mind was free to dwell, I felt so washed out and drained of strength that it really got to me.

I wrote my little bit about Dom on mayo's and my blog and I felt better that I had commemorated him. Then I tried to join in the fun, but once everyone started to go on about star wars quotes id got a little bit suffocating. Not wanting to bring anyone down,I went to DM.

At first I was glad to be there on my own. I had FS on AIM(you absolute angel) and I was talking to myself. Then others came and that was nice.

Then as the evening went on I saw so many names on AIM and no one was talking to me. As you can imagine, in my state of mind I thought it was because you all wanted to have fun and didn't want me to drag you down. I thought "if they want me, they'll fetch me" but no one did.

As everyone went onto AIM, more people left DM's so I was feeling even more alone. I thought "if they want me to leave, all they need to do is ask". I felt like I was being avoided.

Eventually someone saw my comments and told me to switch on AIM. I did and still no one talked to me. This made me feel even worse.

People have told me that they didn't have both my AIM names, so didn't know I was there. It's not the fault of the people on AIM. I don't blame them at all, I'm just describing my feelings. It just was unlucky the timing that AIM chose to fuck up as once I did get on AIM, it threw people off which only led me to feel once again that people didn't want me around.

It was all just such shitty timing in the end. It contributed to my crappy feelings.

I want to apologise to everyone who was worried about me. I know I made you feel shitty. You are all such wonderful friends, I wish I could personally hug all of you.

I don't know what words I can use to properly convey how sorry I am.

-------------------------------------------

I want to die.

Why?

Dominic, why did you have to do it?

What were you thinking?

Such a waste of such a precious life.

I can't stop crying, it hurts so much.

I miss you so much and I want you back.

I can't belive I'll never see you again.

I wish I were dead too, I can't take this much longer.

I hate seeing family members keep dying like this.

I don't feel like there is anything to look forward to in life anymore.

If it wasn't for the fact that my mum and sister would be mortified, I'd kill myself right now.

My cousin Dominic

Well, today is the three year anniversary of the death of my cousin Dominic. I still miss him so much. He was only 25 years old and he made me laugh more than anyone else on earth.

His death will always be a mystery, we don't have any answers. It was awful getting that phone call in the early hours from my Auntie Anne. We drove to her house and all huddled together as we waited for news. The police were fucking shit, every time we heard from them it was a different story.

Dominic was from Sheffield like me but he was living with his girlfriend in Stoke. He didn't like it there and came back to Sheffield often. He had not long been doing the job of a postman and he was really enjoying it. Even so, he and his girlfriend were planning to come back to Sheffield.

We were due to see Dominic again at Christmas time but the Sunday before his death, we decided to go to a car boot sale. We had never been to this one before and we couldn't believe it when we bumped into Dominic there. It was a lovely surprise. I didn't then of course that it would be the last time I would see him alive. His younger brother to this day still goes to that car boot sale every Sunday (I don't think he had ever been to one in his life before this happened) as it is a link to his brother.

From what we learned of the events that night, this is what occurred. My cousin was on his works Christmas do. He had been drinking but they had been out all day so it was spread out and he wasn't drunk. There were no drugs in his system, Dominic wasn't like that. None of our family partake of those kinds of things, we are a nice bunch. If you met us I'm sure you'd agree. He had been looking after one of the girls in the party who was a little the worse for wear. He took her outside for fresh air and the others joined them . Everyone said that Dominic was not pissed or out of his head and he totally had his wits about him, so it is a mystery as to why what happened next happened.

They all got into a taxi to go home and suddenly my cousin said "I have to go somewhere" and got out of the car and ran off. He was later spotted on CCTV on a roundabout. After that we don't know how he ended up where he did as there were no more cameras on that stretch. My cousin was hit and killed trying to cross a motorway and no one has the faintest idea what he was doing there.

We know he wasn't pissed or drugged, we know he wasn't trying to kill himself but we don't and will never know what he was doing there. He was killed instantly, which was better for him as he didn't suffer. The lady who hit him wasn't drunk and there was nothing they could do to prevent the accident. No one was to blame, which I'm glad cos otherwise I would have hunted that person down and killed them with my bare hands, no joke.

It was awful viewing his battered and broke body at the funeral home. His ankles were all broken and his feet hung over the end of the bed. It was heartbreaking. He had broken almost every bone in his body.

His funeral was lovely, it was held in a church which is a couple of roads away from my house and just around the corner from the school me, my sis and my cousins attended. I am anti religion and I was thinking that if the vicar got all religious I was gonna leap up and smack him, I was so angry about Dom's death. Instead he said "what can I tell you, when I hear of a tragedy like this I question if there is a god and I don't know the answer". From then on it was all talk about Dom and his life. We had a huge projection screen up and showed many photo's of him and the only religious aspect was the couple of hymns that were sung. I think the vicar did a wonderful job, it just felt so right.

On the way to the graveyard I noticed that at one point, a postman stopped as he saw the cars go past and he took his has off and bowed down. As Dom had been a postman I thought how strange but touching that was. I remembered how my Dad was mad about buses and on the day of his funeral as the cars were going up the street, we reached the school me and my sis went to and a bus was coming down the road. The driver stopped and bowed his head. These things are weird but comforting.

Well, I'm thinking of Dom today and I just wanted you to know about my beautiful wonderful cousin Dominic.

Happy Birthday J

Send this eCard !

Happy Crimbo Everyone

Send this eCard !

The murder of Osiris (part 10)

Opposite Edfu, Set turned and stood at bay, straddling the whole stream of the Nile, so huge a red hippopotamus was he. But Horus took upon himself the shape of a handsome young man, twelve feet in height. His hand held a harpoon thirty feet long with a blade six feet wide at its point of greatest width.

Set opened his mighty jaws to destroy Horus and his followers when the storm should wreck their boats. But Horus cast his harpoon, and it struck deep into the head of the red hippopotamus, deep into his brain. And that one blow slew Set the great wicked one, the enemy of Osiris and the gods - and the red hippopotamus sank dead beside the Nile at Edfu. The storm passed away, the flood sank and the sky was clear and blue once more. Then the people of Edfu came out to welcome Horus the avenger and lead him in triumph to the shrine over which the great temple now stands. And they sang the song of praise which the priests chanted ever afterwards when the yearly festival of Horus was held at Edfu:

"Rejoice, you who dwell in Edfu! Horus the great god, the lord of the sky, has slain the enemy of his father! Eat the flesh of the vanquished, drink the blood of the red hippopotamus, burn his bones with fire! Let him be cut in pieces, and the scraps be given to the cats, and the offal to the reptiles!

"Glory to Horus of the mighty blow, the brave one, the slayer, the wielder of the Harpoon, the only son of Osiris, Horus of Edfu, Horus the avenger!"

But when Horus passed from earth and reigned no more as the Pharaoh of Egypt, he appeared before the assembly of the gods, and Set came also in the spirit, and contended in words for the rule of the world. But not even Thoth the wise could give judgment. And so it comes about that Horus and Set still contend for the souls of men and for the rule of the world.

There were no more battles on the Nile or in the land of Egypt; and Osiris rested quietly in his grave, which (since Set could no longer disturb it) Isis admitted was on the island of Philae, the most sacred place of all, in the Nile a few miles upstream from Elephantine. But the Egyptians believed that the Last Battle was still to come - and that Horus would defeat Set in this also. And when Set was destroyed forever, Osiris would rise from the dead and return to earth, bringing with him all those who had been his own faithful followers. And for this reason the Egyptians embalmed dead and set the bodies away beneath towering pyramids of stone and deep in the tomb chambers of western Thebes, so that the blessed souls returning from Amenti should find them ready to enter again, and in them to live for ever on earth under the good god Osiris, Isis his queen and their son Horus.

The murder of Osiris (part 9)

Before they set sail Ra drew Horus aside so as to gaze into his blue eyes: for whoever looks into them, of gods or men, sees the future reflected there. But Set was watching; and he took upon himself the form of a black pig - black as the thunder-cloud, fierce to look at, with tusks to strike terror into the bravest heart.

Meanwhile Ra said to Horus: "Let me gaze into your eyes, and see what is to come of this war." He gazed into the eyes of Horus and their colour was that of the Great Green Sea when the summer sky turns it to deepest blue.

While he gazed the black pig passed by and distracted his attention, so that he exclaimed: "Look at that! Never have I seen so huge and fierce a pig."

And Horus looked, and he did not know that it was Set, but thought it was a wild boar out of the thickets of the north, and he was not ready with a charm or a word of power to guard himself against the enemy.

Then Set aimed a blow of fire at the eyes of Horus; and Horus shouted with the pain and was in a great rage. He knew now that it was Set, but Set had gone on the instant and could not be trapped.

Ra caused Horus to be taken into a dark room, and it was not long before his eyes could see again as clearly as before. When he was recovered Ra had returned to the sky; but Horus was filled with joy that he could see, once more, and as he set out up the Nile at the head of his army, the country on either side shared his joy and blossomed into spring.

There were many battles in that war, but the last and greatest was at Edfu, where the great temple of Horus stands to this day in memory of it. The forces of Set and Horus drew near to one another among the islands and the rapids of the First Cataract of the Nile. Set, in the form of a red hippopotamus of gigantic size, sprang up on the island of Elephantine and uttered a great curse against Horus and against Isis:

"Let there come a terrible raging tempest and a mighty flood against my enemies!" he cried, and his voice was like the thunder rolling across the heavens from the south to the north. At once the storm broke over the boats of Horus and his army; the wind roared and the water was heaped into great waves. But Horus held on his way, his own boat gleaming through the darkness, its prow shining like a ray of the sun.

The murder of osiris (part 8)

One piece only she did not recover, for it had been eaten by certain impious fishes; and their kind were accursed ever afterwards, and no Egyptian would touch or eat them. Isis, however, did not bury any of the pieces in the places where the tombs and shrines of Osiris stood. She gathered the pieces together, rejoined them by magic, and by magic made a likeness of the missing member so that Osiris was complete. Then she caused the body to be embalmed and hidden away in a place of which she alone knew. And after this the spirit of Osiris passed into Amenti to rule over the dead until the last great battle, when Horus should slay Set and Osiris would return to earth once more.

But as Horus grew in this world the spirit of Osiris visited him often and taught him all that a great warrior should know - one who was to fight against Set both in the body and in the spirit.
One day Osiris said to the boy: "Tell me, what is the noblest thing that a man can do?"
And Horus answered: "To avenge his father and mother for the evil done to them."

This pleased Osiris, and he asked further: "And what animal is most useful for the avenger to take with him as he goes out to battle?"

"A horse," answered Horus promptly.

"Surely a lion would be better still?" suggested Osiris.

"A lion would indeed be the best for a man who needed help," replied Horus; "but a horse is best for pursuing a flying foe and cutting him off from escape."

When he heard this Osiris knew that the time had come for Horus to declare war on Set, and bade him gather together a great army and sail up the Nile to attack him in the deserts of the south.

Horus gathered his forces and prepared to begin the war. And Ra himself, the shining father of the gods, came to his aid in his own divine boat that sails across the heavens and through the dangers of the underworld.

The murder of Osiris (part 7)

At the sight hatred and anger came upon him in a red cloud, and he raged like a panther of the south. He tore open the chest, took the body of Osiris, and rent it into fourteen pieces which, by his divine strength, he scattered up and down the whole length of the Nile so that the crocodiles might eat them.

"It is not possible to destroy the body of a god!" cried Set. "Yet I have done it - for I have destroyed Osiris!" His laughter echoed through the land, and all who heard it trembled and hid
.
Now Isis had to begin her search once more. This time she had helpers, for Nephthys left her wicked husband Set and came to join her sister. And Anubis, the son of Set and Nephthys, taking the form of a jackal, assisted in the search. When Isis travelled over the land she was accompanied and guarded by seven scorpions. But when she searched on the Nile and among the many streams of the delta she made her way in a boat made of papyrus: and the crocodiles, in their reverence for the goddess, touched neither the rent pieces of Osiris nor Isis herself. Indeed ever afterwards anyone who sailed the Nile in a boat made of papyrus was safe from them, for they thought that it was Isis still questing after the pieces of her husband's body.

Slowly, piece by piece, Isis recovered the fragments of Osiris. And wherever she did so, she formed by magic the likeness of his whole body and caused the priests to build a shrine and perform his funeral rites. And so there were thirteen places in Egypt which claimed to be the burial place of Osiris. In this way also she made it harder for Set to meddle further with the body of the dead god.

The murder of Osiris (part 6)

Then Isis took on her own form, and Astarte crouched down in terror when she saw the shining goddess and learned who she was.

Malcander and Astarte offered her gifts of all the richest treasures in Byblos, but Isis asked only for the great tamarisk pillar which held up the roof, and for what it contained. When it was given to her, she caused it to open and took out the chest of Set. But the pillar she gave back to Malcander and Astarte; and it remained the most sacred object in Byblos, since it had once held the body of a god.

When the chest which had become the coffin of Osiris was given to her, Isis flung herself down on it with so terrible a cry of sorrow that little Dictys died at the very sound. But Isis at length caused the chest to be placed on a ship which King Malcander provided for her, and set out for Egypt. With her went Maneros, the young prince of Byblos: but he did not remain with her for long, since his curiosity proved his undoing. For as soon as the ship had left the land Isis retired to where the chest of Set lay, and opened the lid. Maneros crept up behind her and peeped over her shoulder: but Isis knew he was there and, turning, gave him one glance of anger - and he fell backwards over the side of the ship into the sea.

Next morning, as the ship was passing the Phaedrus River, its strong current threatened to carry them out of sight of land. But Isis grew angry and placed a curse on the river, so that its stream dried up from that day.

She came safely to Egypt after this, and hid the chest in the marshes of the delta while she hastened to the floating island where Buto was guarding Horus.

But it chanced that Set came hunting wild boars with his dogs, hunting by night after his custom, since he loved the darkness in which evil things abound. By the light of the moon he saw the chest of cedar wood inlaid with ebony and ivory, with gold and silver, and recognized it.

The murder of Osiris (part 5)

Then she went to seek for the body of Osiris. For, until he was buried with all the needful rites and charms, even his spirit could go no farther to the west than Duat, the Testing-Place; and it could not come to Amenti.

Back and forth over the land of Egypt wandered Isis, but never a trace could she find of the chest in which lay the body of Osiris. She asked all whom she met, but no one had seen it - and in this matter her magic powers could not help her.

At last she questioned the children who were playing by the riverside, and at once they told her that just such a chest as she described had floated past them on the swift stream and out into the Great Green Sea.

Then Isis wandered on the shore, and again and again it was the children who had seen the chest floating by and told her which way it had gone. And because of this, Isis blessed the children and decreed that ever afterwards children should speak words of wisdom and sometimes tell of things to come.

At length Isis came to Byblos and sat down by the seashore. Presently the maidens who attended on Queen Astarte came down to bathe at that place; and when they returned out of the water Isis taught them how to plait their hair - which had never been done before. When they went up to the palace a strange and wonderful perfume seemed to cling to them; and Queen Astarte marvelled at it, and at their plaited hair, and asked them how it came to be so.
The maidens told her of the wonderful woman who sat by the seashore, and Queen Astarte sent for Isis, and asked her to serve in the palace and tend her children, the little Prince Maneros and the baby Dictys, who was ailing sorely. For she did not know that the strange woman who was wandering alone at Byblos was the greatest of all the goddesses of Egypt. Isis agreed to this, and very soon the baby Dictys was strong and well though she did no more than give him her finger to suck. But presently she became fond of the child, and thought to make him immortal, which she did by burning away his mortal parts while she flew round and round him in the form of a swallow. Astarte, however, had been watching her secretly; and when she saw that her baby seemed to be on fire she rushed into the room with a loud cry, and so broke the magic.

The murder of Osiris (part 4)

Osiris marvelled at the rare cedar inlaid with ebony and ivory, with less rare gold and silver, and painted inside with figures of gods and birds and animals, and he desired it greatly.

"I will give this chest to whosoever fits it most exactly!" cried Set. And at once the conspirators began in turn to see if they could win it. But one was too tall and another too short; one was too fat and another too thin - and all tried in vain.

"Let me see if I will fit into this marvellous piece of work," said Osiris, and he laid himself down in the chest while all gathered round breathlessly.

"I fit exactly, and the chest is mine!" cried Osiris.

"It is yours indeed, and shall be so forever!" hissed Set as he banged down the lid. Then in desperate haste he and the conspirators nailed it shut and sealed every crack with molten lead, so that Osiris the man died in the chest and his spirit went west across the Nile into Duat the Place of Testing; but, beyond it to Amenti, where those live for ever who have lived well on earth and passed the judgments of Duat, he could not pass as yet. Set and his companions took the chest which held the body of Osiris and cast it into the Nile; and Hapi the Nile-god carried it out into the Great Green Sea where it was tossed for many days until it came to the shore of Phoenicia near the city of Byblos. Here the waves cast it into a tamarisk tree that grew on the shore; and the tree shot out branches and grew leaves and flowers to make a fit resting place for the body of the good god Osiris and very soon that tree became famous throughout the land.

Presently King Malcander heard of it, and he and his wife, Queen Astarte, came to the seashore to gaze at the tree. By now the branches had grown together and hidden the chest which held the body of Osiris in the trunk itself. King Malcander gave orders that the tree should be cut down and fashioned into a great pillar for his palace. This was done, and all wondered at its beauty and fragrance: but none knew that it held the body of a god. Meanwhile in Egypt Isis was in great fear. She had always known that Set was filled with evil and jealousy, but kindly Osiris would not believe in his brother's wickedness. But Isis knew as soon as her husband was dead, though no one told her, and fled into the marshes of the delta carrying the baby Horus with her. She found shelter on a little island where the goddess Buto lived, and entrusted the divine child to her. And as a further safeguard against Set, Isis loosed the island from its foundations, and let it float so that no one could tell where to find it.

The murder of Osiris (part3)

When the people of Egypt had learned to make bread and cut only the flesh of such animals as he taught them were suitable, Osiris, went on to teach them laws, and how to live peacefully and happily together, delighting themselves with music and poetry. As soon as Egypt was filled with peace and plenty, Osiris set out over the world to bring his blessings upon other nations. While he was away he left Isis to rule over the land, which she did both wisely and well.

But Set the Evil One, their brother, envied Osiris and hated Isis. The more the people loved and praised Osiris, the more Set hated him; and the more good he did and the happier mankind became, the stronger grew Set's desire to kill his brother and rule in his place. Isis, however, was so full of wisdom and so watchful that Set made no attempt to seize the throne while she was watching over the land of Egypt. And when Osiris returned from his travels Set was among the first to welcome him back and kneel in reverence before "the good god Pharaoh Osiris".

Yet he had made his plans, aided by seventy-two of his wicked friends and also the evil queen of Ethiopia. Secretly Set obtained the exact measurements of the body of Osiris, and caused beautiful chest to be made that would fit only him. It was fashioned of the rarest and most costly woods: cedar brought from Lebanon and ebony from Punt at the south end of the Red Sea because no wood grows in Egypt except the soft and useless palm.

Then Set gave a great feast in honour of Osiris; but the other guests were the two-and-seventy conspirators. It was the greatest feast that had yet been seen in Egypt, and the foods were choicer, the wines stronger and the dancing girls more beautiful than ever before. When the heart of Osiris had been made glad with feasting and song the chest was brought in, and all were amazed at its beauty.

The murder of Osiris (part2)

On the first of these days Osiris, the eldest son of Nut, was born, and the second day was set aside to be the birthday of Horus (the son of Isis and Osiris). On the third day the second son of Nut was born, dark Set, the lord of evil. On the fourth her daughter Isis first saw the light, and her second daughter Nephthys on the fifth. In this way the curse of Ra was both fulfilled and defeated: for the days on which the children of Nut were born belonged to no year.

When Osiris was born many signs and wonders were seen and heard throughout the world. Most notable was the voice which came from the holiest shrine in the temple at Thebes on the Nile, which today is called Karnak, speaking to a man called Pamyles bidding him proclaim to all men that Osiris, the good and mighty king, was born to bring joy to all the earth. Pamyles did as he was bidden, and he also attended on the Divine Child and brought him up as a man among men.

When Osiris was grown up he married his sister Isis, a custom which the Pharaohs of Egypt followed ever after. And Set married Nephthys - for he too being a god could marry only a goddess.

After Isis by her craft had learned the Secret Name of Ra, Osiris became sole ruler of Egypt and reigned on earth as Ra had done. He found the people both savage and brutish, fighting among themselves and killing and eating one another. But Isis discovered the grain of both wheat and barley, which grew wild over the land with the other plants and was still unknown to man; and Osiris taught them how to plant the seeds when the Nile had risen in the yearly inundation and sunk again leaving fresh fertile mud over the fields; how to tend and water the crops; how to cut the corn when it was ripe, and how to thresh the grain on the threshing floors, dry it and grind it to flour and make it into bread. He showed them also how to plant vines and make the grapes into wine; and they knew already how to brew beer out of the barley.

The murder of Osiris (part1)

In the days before Ra had left the earth, before he had begun to grow old, his great wisdom told him that if the goddess Nut bore children, one of them would end his reign among men. So Ra laid a curse upon Nut - that she should not be able to bear any child on any day of the year.

Full of sorrow, Nut went for help to Thoth, the thrice-great god of wisdom and magic and learning, Ra's son, who loved her. Thoth knew that the curse of Ra, once spoken, could never be recalled, but in his wisdom he found a way of escape. He went to Khensu, the Moon-god, and challenged him to a contest at draughts. Game after game they played and always Thoth won. The stakes grew higher and higher, but Khensu wagered the most, for it was some of his own light that he risked and lost.

At last Khensu would play no more. Then Thoth the thrice-great in wisdom gathered up the light which he had won and made it into five extra days which for ever after were set between the end of the old year and the beginning of the new. The year was of three hundred and sixty days before this, but the five days which were added, which were not days of any year, were ever afterwards held as days of festival in old Egypt.

But, since his match with Thoth, Khensu the moon has not had enough light to shine throughout the month, but dwindles into darkness and then grows to his full glory again; for he had lost the light needed to make five whole days.

The two brothers (the final part)

Now many days after this, when he had spent many years as crown prince of the whole land, his majesty flew up to heaven. Then the king said: " Let my great royal officials be brought to me, that I may let them know all that has happened to me." Then his wife was brought to him. He judged her in their presence, and they gave their ascent. his elder brother was brought to him, and he made him crown prince of the whole land. he spent thirty years as king of Egypt. He departed from life: and his elder brother stood in his place on the day of death.





It has come to a good end under the scribe of the treasury, Kagab, and the scribes of the treasury, Hori and Meremope. Written by the scribe Ennana, the owner of this book. Whoever maligns this book, Thoth will contend with him.

The two brothers (part 10)

Many day after this, his majesty appeared at the audience window of lapis lazuli with a wreath of all kinds of flowers on his neck. Then he mounted a golden chariot and he came out of the palace to view the Persea trees. Then the Lady came out on a team behind Pharaoh. his majesty sat down under one Persea tree and the Lady under the other. Then Bata spoke to his wife: " Ha, you false one! I am Bata! I am alive in spite of you. I know that when you had the pine felled for Pharaoh, it was on account of me. And when I became a bull, you had me killed."


Many days after this, the Lady stood pouring drink for his majesty, and he was happy with her. Then she said to his majesty: " Swear to me by God, saying: ' Whatever she will say, I will listen to it!' So you shall say." He listened to all that she said. She said: " Have the two Persea trees felled and made into fine furniture." The king listened to all that she said. After a short while his majesty sent skilled craftsmen. They felled the Persea trees of Pharaoh, and the Queen, the Lady, stood watching it. Then a splinter flew and entered the mouth of the Lady. She swallowed it, and in a moment she became pregnant. The king ordered made of them whatever she desired.


Many days after this, she gave birth to a son. One went to tell his majesty: " A son has been born to you." He was fetched, and a nurse and maids were assigned to him. And there was jubilation over him in the whole land. The king sat down to a feast day and held him on his lap. From that hour his majesty loved him very much, and he designated him as Viceroy of kush. And many days after this, his majesty made him crown prince of the whole land.

The two brothers (part 9)

Now when many days had passed, he entered the kitchen, stood where the Lady was, and began to speak to her, saying: " Look, I am yet alive!" She said to him: " Who are you?" He said to her: " I am Bata. I know that when you had the pine felled for Pharaoh, it was on account of me, so that I should not live. look, I am yet alive! I am a bull." The Lady became very frightened because of the speech her husband had made to her. Then he left the kitchen.


His majesty sat down to a day of feasting with her. She poured drink for his majesty, and he was very happy with her. Then she said to his majesty: " swear to me by God, saying ' Whatever she will say, I will listen to it!" He listened to all that she said: " Let me eat of the liver of this bull; for he is good for nothing." So she said to him. He became very vexed over what she had said, and the heart of Pharaoh was very sore.


When it had dawned and another day had come, the king proclaimed a great offering, namely, the sacrifice of the bull. He sent one of the chief royal slaughterers to sacrifice the bull. And when he had been sacrificed and was carried on the shoulders of the men, he shook his neck and let fall two drops of blood beside the two doorposts of his majesty, one on the one side of the great portal of Pharaoh, and the other on the other side. They grew into two big Persea trees, each of them outstanding. Then one went to tell his majesty: " Two big Persea trees have grown this night - a great marvel for his majesty- beside the great portal of his majesty." There was jubilation over them in the whole land, and the king made an offering to them.

The two brothers (part8)

When night had come, his heart swallowed the water, and Bata twitched in all his body. He began to look at his elder brother while his heart was in the bowl. Then Anubis, his elder brother, took the bowl of cool water in which was the heart of his young brother and let him drink it. Then his heart stood in its place, and he became as he had been. Thereupon they embraced each other, and they talked to one another.


Then Bata said to his elder brother: "Look, I shall change myself into a great bull of beautiful colour, of a kind unknown to man, and you shall sit on my back. By the time the sun has risen, we shall be where my wife is, that I may avenge myself. you shall take me to where the king is, for he will do for you everything good. You shall be rewarded with silver and gold for taking me to Pharaoh. For I shall be a great marvel, and they will jubilate over me in the whole land. Then you shall depart to your village."


When it had dawned and the next day had come, Bata assumed the form which he had told his elder brother. Then Anubis, his elder brother, sat on his back. At dawn he reached the place where the king was. His majesty was informed about him; he saw him and rejoiced over him very much. He made a great offering for him, saying: " It is a great marvel." And there was jubilation over him in the entire land. Then the king rewarded his elder brother with silver and gold, and he dwelled in his village. The king gave him many people and many things, for Pharaoh loved him very much, more than anyone else in the whole land.

The two brothers (part 7)

Now many days after this, the men who had gone abroad returned to report to his majesty. But those who had gone to the Valley of the Pine did not return, for Bata had killed them, leaving only one of them to report to his majesty. Then his majesty sent many soldiers and charioteers to bring her back, and with them was a woman into whose hand one had given all kinds of beautiful ladies' jewellery. The women returned to Egypt with her, and there was jubilation for her in the entire land. His majesty loved her very very much, and he gave her the rank of Great Lady. He spoke with her in order to make her tell about her husband, and she said to his majesty: " Have the pine felled and cut up." The king sent soldiers with their tools to fell the pine. They reached the pine, they felled the blossom on which was Bata's heart, and he fell dead at that moment.


When it had dawned and the next day had come, and the pine had been felled, Anubis, the elder brother of Bata, entered his house. He sat down to wash his hands. He was given a jug of beer, and it fermented. He was given another of wine, and it turned bad. Then he took his staff and his sandals, as well as his clothes and his weapons, and he started to journey to the Valley of the Pine. He entered the mansion of his young brother and found his young brother lying dead on his bed. He wept when he saw his young brother lying dead. He went to search for the heart of his young brother beneath the pine under which his young brother had slept in the evening. He spent three years searching for it without finding it.


When he began the fourth year, his heart longed to return to Egypt, and he said: " I shall depart tomorrow." So he said in his heart. When it had dawned and another day had come, he went to walk under the pine and spent the day searching for it. When he turned back in the evening, he looked once again in search of it and he found a fruit. He came back with it, and it was the heart of his young brother! He fetched a bowl of cool water, placed it in it, and sat down according to his daily custom.

The two brothers (part 6)

Now many days after this, when Bata had gone hunting according to his daily custom, the young girl went out to stroll under the pine which was next to her house. Then she saw the sea surging behind her, and she started to run before it and entered her house. Thereupon the sea called to the pine, saying: "Catch her for me!" And the pine took away a lock of her hair. Then the sea brought it to Egypt and laid it in the place of the washermen of Pharaoh. Thereafter the scent of the lock of hair got into the clothes of Pharaoh. And the king quarreled with the royal washermen, saying: "A scent of ointment is in the clothes of Pharaoh!" He quarreled with them every day, and the did not know what to do.


The chief of the royal washermen went to the shore, his heart very sore on account of the daily quarrel with him. Then he realised that he was standing on the shore opposite the lock of hair which was in the water. He had someone go down, and it was brought to him. Its scent was found to be very sweet, and he took it to Pharaoh.


Then the learned scribes of Pharaoh were summoned, and they said to Pharaoh: "As for this lock of hair, it belongs to a daughter of Pre-Harakhti in whom there is the fluid of every god. It is a greeting to you from another country. Let envoys go to every foreign land to search for her. As for the envoy who goes to the Valley of the Pine, let many men go with him to fetch her." His majesty said: "What you have said is very good." And they were sent.

The two brothers (part 5)

Now many days after this, his young brother was in the Valley of the Pine. There was no one with him, and he spent the days hunting desert game. In the evening he returned to sleep under the pine on top of whose blossom his heart was. And after many days he built a mansion for himself with his own hand in the Valley of the Pine, filled with all good things, for he wanted to set up a household.

Coming out of his mansion, he encountered the Ennead as they walked about administering the entire land. Then the Ennead addressed him in unison, saying: "O Bata, bull of the Ennead, are you alone here, having left your town on account of the wife of Anubis, your elder brother? He has killed his wife and you are avenged of all the wrong done to you." And as they felt very sorry for him, Pre-Harakhti said to Khnum: "Fashion a wife for Bata, that he not live alone!" Then Khnum made a companion for him who was more beautiful in body than any woman in the whole land, for the fluid of every god was in her. Then the seven Hathors came to see her, and they said with one voice: " She will die by the knife."

He desired her very much. She sat in his house while he spent the day hunting desert game, bringing it and putting it before her. He said to her: " Do not go outdoors, lest the sea snatch you. I cannot rescue you from it, because I am a woman like you. And my heart lies on top of the blossom of the Pine. But if another finds it, I shall fight with him." Then he revealed to her all his thoughts.

A ruined evening

Thanks to all the people who have shown concern for my well being.

I suppose I owe an explanation for my departure.

Last night was a total farce. Things were going along as they always had when some tosspot called careful told us to be just that.

Who the hell do they think they are. I'll tell you who they are, another anon for all intents and purposes and that's how I'll treat them thank you. They weren't brave enough to use an account name so anon they will be.

That blog belongs to mayo and mayo is the only one I will take orders from as to what to say. You know that I don't gossip out of respect to the family. I know we don't want to encourage outsiders. But be honest guys, face it, the blog is already out there. The damage has already been done. Who knows how many people lurk without commenting, loads I'll guess. Everyday we get more anons willing to put a name to themselves and open an account. These people have been lurking from the start. How many others are lurking in silence, who knows. But they've already seen it all and heard it all.

I have never said in words I am 100% sure mayo is ------ or ss is -------- (see, I'm still keeping it quiet out of respect).

My point here, is that we are smart enough not to do that. No-one needs to tell us, we already know. If mayo came on the blog or left a message at his location to say "let's not mention this" that's fine, OK, we won't. He hasn't done that, he lets the conversation flow. If He was so bothered, He would delete the remarks anyway people, remember that.

What I am mad about is how an anon called careful came on and suddenly became boss. Everybody ran round saying "oh, they are so right". As I've said, we don't need an anon telling us that.

I thought we knew how to deal with anons. We ignore them or bully them away. Why suddenly did the atmosphere change when careful appeared.

You all know what I am talking about, you all know how some of you behaved. Please don't feel like I think I am more important than I am, these are just my upset feelings.

I really don't understand why this was different. others noticed the change in atmosphere too and others didn't like it.

It was people's reactions to careful that caused all the upset. Why did you all do it? We should have gone "yeah, thanks for the heads up" and gone back to what we do best. But no, some people ran round like headless chickens. The result of following actions left others feeling excluded. And I certainly wasn't the only one to feel that way.

L, please don't upset yourself sweetie. I love you. The list did not upset me at all, I was near the top remember. You did that with all the best intentions and I know that. I hope you are not upset because you thought you'd pissed me off.

This is what triggered it. And I know I over reacted and I apologise but hear me out and you may understand why i felt so excluded.

I noticed someone ask about the kickball game. Someone replied that it was in the clinic, you'd already done it but if they were quick they could catch the end. The only other place I knew was d--c--s m--o( see, secret again).

I went over there and the first messages I saw were very conspiratorial ones talking about deleting stuff. You know who you are. I stayed in there and asked if this was the kickball place and no one fucking answered.

I went back to mayo's and asked there and no one fucking answered. I noticed that others, TJ for one, were also starting to feel excluded.

I kept asking around and no one fucking answered. A friend told me that they had been lurking at DM and had seen you deleting stuff. They had heard of a mayo clinic at a yahoo site. This may have been wrong info but that is what I was told. That person is a sweetie and they can't help it if what they thought turned out to be wrong.

That info, the dodgy conspiracy looking messages at the start of DM and other people at mayo's feeling excluded and no one fucking answering me, lead me to feel that i wasn't family enough to be included.

Maybe this was wrong but people's behaviour tonight led to those feelings,. I wasn't the only one to feel this way. I thought, enough is enough. This is stupid now and I'm not coming back until things get back to normal.

That is still how I feel. If things do get better I shall return. Until then goodbye.

P.S. I,m blaming no one but careful for this. I have no ill feelings for any family members.

My life

I don't know if anyone will take the time to read this but hello anyway.

I guess you know me from my comments on Mayo's page, and BC's if you go there too.

As you've probably noticed, I like to chip in with the funny remarks. I'm not one for the deep empassioned speeches like sdock10. I couldn't compete, her words are so beautiful. I just prefer to make people smile.

I'm a nice friendly person, I get along with everyone from all walks of life. I'm lucky to have never been bullied, maybe because I find it so easy to get on with people.

I unlike some people on blogland was fortunate enough to love school. I loved college and I loved Uni. Most of you know I did Egyptology. It is totally my passion. Unfortunately, to do anything in this field as a profession, you need more qualifications than just a degree. My finances never allowed me to take it further but it will always be my first love.

The next biggest thing in my life was losing my father at 55 yrs. This happened in 2002. I will share the story.

After leaving Uni, I came back home. I couldn't afford my own place. One day dad was out on the driveway when he just collapsed. My mum was screaming, and I went out to see. He was rolling on the ground and his lips had turned blue.

Sorry, I am crying my eyes out as I write this, excuse any mistakes


He was having trouble breathing and then he stopped. I tried mouth to mouth and managed to bring him back about three times but he kept slipping away. The ambulance came and they worked on him and took him away. When we reached the hospital they told us he was gone. I was heartbroken.

The cause of death was an enlarged heart, there's nothing you can do about that.

It was so hard having to ring people and tell them. That time all passed in a blur, yet most of it seems like only yesterday. My sis had gone to her boyfriends so she had to come to the hospital after the fact. I would've hated that. I'm so glad I was there. At least I can say that I tried. I'm so glad that at the end, I was the closest I could be to him because his last breathe was mine.

I'm just so glad that I made him proud. He was so proud that both his girls finished Uni. We are not from an affluent background and this made him so proud. He always used to say,"you girls have never brought the police to my door or caused me grief". God, I miss him.

After that for some reason I started to hate my nan, his mum. I felt so cheated, it wasn't the natural way, she should have gone first. She was in a nursing home and for a long time, I couldn't visit, I wouldn't visit. She had dementia towards the end and we never told her about dad. As mum said, the shock would kill her.

I eventually brought myself to visit after mum told me that she probably wasn't going to be around for too long and it really wasn't her fault. I knew it wasn't but I still felt so angry.

I'm glad I went to visit. We had a laugh and it was the last time I saw her. I'll always have that last memory of laughing with her. At her funeral one year after dad's I just kept feeling that dad should have been there.

The following year, my 25yr old cousin was killed. He was knocked down trying to cross a motorway. We have no idea what he was doing there and I guess we never will. I miss him so much. he was one of the funniest people I knew.

That was 2002, 2003, 2004.

2006, my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. Luckily, she has made a total recovery. It just seems to be one thing on top of another.

After all this, I needed a rest. I quit my job at a hospital to spend more time with mum. God I needed a break. I'm still living with her. I don't know if I'll ever leave now. I couldn't leave her alone and she doesn't want me to go.

I guess what I try to do with my humor is make people laugh and get along. We should all get along with people more cos you don't know when those people will be gone.

My dad was gone as fast as you can click your fingers, my nan and cousin also. ( my nan just stopped breathing one day, simple as. No suffering thank god). People will tell you it is a good way for the people who have gone because they didn't have time to suffer. But for the people left behind, you have nothing but time to suffer.

Mum is fine and now I'm looking for a job. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and this depresses me so much. I envy people who have a clear dream and are able to follow it.

All I know is that ordinary life holds no interest for me. I've never wanted to settle down and have kids. Never wanted an ordinary 9 to 5. I guess this is why I am still on anti depressants. Yes, me, the one that makes you all laugh is actually depressed. I think if I didn't spend time laughing, I really would end it all.

A lot of the time, I really hate my life. I have no idea what I want to do with it. All I know is that I'm not happy with normality.

I also have a nuisance neighbour who is an alcoholic. He likes to play loud music so sleep is precious to me. I never seem to get enough these days.

I try to make the most of the little things like family and friends and laughing with them. I now class you among those friends.

I hope you now understand me a little more. I hope I don't piss you off with my need to lighten the mood sometimes.

Thank you for listening. Sorry this was so long.

Me and my sis in the Luxor Temple Egypt.