Now many days after this, when he had spent many years as crown prince of the whole land, his majesty flew up to heaven. Then the king said: " Let my great royal officials be brought to me, that I may let them know all that has happened to me." Then his wife was brought to him. He judged her in their presence, and they gave their ascent. his elder brother was brought to him, and he made him crown prince of the whole land. he spent thirty years as king of Egypt. He departed from life: and his elder brother stood in his place on the day of death.
It has come to a good end under the scribe of the treasury, Kagab, and the scribes of the treasury, Hori and Meremope. Written by the scribe Ennana, the owner of this book. Whoever maligns this book, Thoth will contend with him.
Friday 16 November 2007
The two brothers (part 10)
Many day after this, his majesty appeared at the audience window of lapis lazuli with a wreath of all kinds of flowers on his neck. Then he mounted a golden chariot and he came out of the palace to view the Persea trees. Then the Lady came out on a team behind Pharaoh. his majesty sat down under one Persea tree and the Lady under the other. Then Bata spoke to his wife: " Ha, you false one! I am Bata! I am alive in spite of you. I know that when you had the pine felled for Pharaoh, it was on account of me. And when I became a bull, you had me killed."
Many days after this, the Lady stood pouring drink for his majesty, and he was happy with her. Then she said to his majesty: " Swear to me by God, saying: ' Whatever she will say, I will listen to it!' So you shall say." He listened to all that she said. She said: " Have the two Persea trees felled and made into fine furniture." The king listened to all that she said. After a short while his majesty sent skilled craftsmen. They felled the Persea trees of Pharaoh, and the Queen, the Lady, stood watching it. Then a splinter flew and entered the mouth of the Lady. She swallowed it, and in a moment she became pregnant. The king ordered made of them whatever she desired.
Many days after this, she gave birth to a son. One went to tell his majesty: " A son has been born to you." He was fetched, and a nurse and maids were assigned to him. And there was jubilation over him in the whole land. The king sat down to a feast day and held him on his lap. From that hour his majesty loved him very much, and he designated him as Viceroy of kush. And many days after this, his majesty made him crown prince of the whole land.
Many days after this, the Lady stood pouring drink for his majesty, and he was happy with her. Then she said to his majesty: " Swear to me by God, saying: ' Whatever she will say, I will listen to it!' So you shall say." He listened to all that she said. She said: " Have the two Persea trees felled and made into fine furniture." The king listened to all that she said. After a short while his majesty sent skilled craftsmen. They felled the Persea trees of Pharaoh, and the Queen, the Lady, stood watching it. Then a splinter flew and entered the mouth of the Lady. She swallowed it, and in a moment she became pregnant. The king ordered made of them whatever she desired.
Many days after this, she gave birth to a son. One went to tell his majesty: " A son has been born to you." He was fetched, and a nurse and maids were assigned to him. And there was jubilation over him in the whole land. The king sat down to a feast day and held him on his lap. From that hour his majesty loved him very much, and he designated him as Viceroy of kush. And many days after this, his majesty made him crown prince of the whole land.
The two brothers (part 9)
Now when many days had passed, he entered the kitchen, stood where the Lady was, and began to speak to her, saying: " Look, I am yet alive!" She said to him: " Who are you?" He said to her: " I am Bata. I know that when you had the pine felled for Pharaoh, it was on account of me, so that I should not live. look, I am yet alive! I am a bull." The Lady became very frightened because of the speech her husband had made to her. Then he left the kitchen.
His majesty sat down to a day of feasting with her. She poured drink for his majesty, and he was very happy with her. Then she said to his majesty: " swear to me by God, saying ' Whatever she will say, I will listen to it!" He listened to all that she said: " Let me eat of the liver of this bull; for he is good for nothing." So she said to him. He became very vexed over what she had said, and the heart of Pharaoh was very sore.
When it had dawned and another day had come, the king proclaimed a great offering, namely, the sacrifice of the bull. He sent one of the chief royal slaughterers to sacrifice the bull. And when he had been sacrificed and was carried on the shoulders of the men, he shook his neck and let fall two drops of blood beside the two doorposts of his majesty, one on the one side of the great portal of Pharaoh, and the other on the other side. They grew into two big Persea trees, each of them outstanding. Then one went to tell his majesty: " Two big Persea trees have grown this night - a great marvel for his majesty- beside the great portal of his majesty." There was jubilation over them in the whole land, and the king made an offering to them.
His majesty sat down to a day of feasting with her. She poured drink for his majesty, and he was very happy with her. Then she said to his majesty: " swear to me by God, saying ' Whatever she will say, I will listen to it!" He listened to all that she said: " Let me eat of the liver of this bull; for he is good for nothing." So she said to him. He became very vexed over what she had said, and the heart of Pharaoh was very sore.
When it had dawned and another day had come, the king proclaimed a great offering, namely, the sacrifice of the bull. He sent one of the chief royal slaughterers to sacrifice the bull. And when he had been sacrificed and was carried on the shoulders of the men, he shook his neck and let fall two drops of blood beside the two doorposts of his majesty, one on the one side of the great portal of Pharaoh, and the other on the other side. They grew into two big Persea trees, each of them outstanding. Then one went to tell his majesty: " Two big Persea trees have grown this night - a great marvel for his majesty- beside the great portal of his majesty." There was jubilation over them in the whole land, and the king made an offering to them.
The two brothers (part8)
When night had come, his heart swallowed the water, and Bata twitched in all his body. He began to look at his elder brother while his heart was in the bowl. Then Anubis, his elder brother, took the bowl of cool water in which was the heart of his young brother and let him drink it. Then his heart stood in its place, and he became as he had been. Thereupon they embraced each other, and they talked to one another.
Then Bata said to his elder brother: "Look, I shall change myself into a great bull of beautiful colour, of a kind unknown to man, and you shall sit on my back. By the time the sun has risen, we shall be where my wife is, that I may avenge myself. you shall take me to where the king is, for he will do for you everything good. You shall be rewarded with silver and gold for taking me to Pharaoh. For I shall be a great marvel, and they will jubilate over me in the whole land. Then you shall depart to your village."
When it had dawned and the next day had come, Bata assumed the form which he had told his elder brother. Then Anubis, his elder brother, sat on his back. At dawn he reached the place where the king was. His majesty was informed about him; he saw him and rejoiced over him very much. He made a great offering for him, saying: " It is a great marvel." And there was jubilation over him in the entire land. Then the king rewarded his elder brother with silver and gold, and he dwelled in his village. The king gave him many people and many things, for Pharaoh loved him very much, more than anyone else in the whole land.
Then Bata said to his elder brother: "Look, I shall change myself into a great bull of beautiful colour, of a kind unknown to man, and you shall sit on my back. By the time the sun has risen, we shall be where my wife is, that I may avenge myself. you shall take me to where the king is, for he will do for you everything good. You shall be rewarded with silver and gold for taking me to Pharaoh. For I shall be a great marvel, and they will jubilate over me in the whole land. Then you shall depart to your village."
When it had dawned and the next day had come, Bata assumed the form which he had told his elder brother. Then Anubis, his elder brother, sat on his back. At dawn he reached the place where the king was. His majesty was informed about him; he saw him and rejoiced over him very much. He made a great offering for him, saying: " It is a great marvel." And there was jubilation over him in the entire land. Then the king rewarded his elder brother with silver and gold, and he dwelled in his village. The king gave him many people and many things, for Pharaoh loved him very much, more than anyone else in the whole land.
The two brothers (part 7)
Now many days after this, the men who had gone abroad returned to report to his majesty. But those who had gone to the Valley of the Pine did not return, for Bata had killed them, leaving only one of them to report to his majesty. Then his majesty sent many soldiers and charioteers to bring her back, and with them was a woman into whose hand one had given all kinds of beautiful ladies' jewellery. The women returned to Egypt with her, and there was jubilation for her in the entire land. His majesty loved her very very much, and he gave her the rank of Great Lady. He spoke with her in order to make her tell about her husband, and she said to his majesty: " Have the pine felled and cut up." The king sent soldiers with their tools to fell the pine. They reached the pine, they felled the blossom on which was Bata's heart, and he fell dead at that moment.
When it had dawned and the next day had come, and the pine had been felled, Anubis, the elder brother of Bata, entered his house. He sat down to wash his hands. He was given a jug of beer, and it fermented. He was given another of wine, and it turned bad. Then he took his staff and his sandals, as well as his clothes and his weapons, and he started to journey to the Valley of the Pine. He entered the mansion of his young brother and found his young brother lying dead on his bed. He wept when he saw his young brother lying dead. He went to search for the heart of his young brother beneath the pine under which his young brother had slept in the evening. He spent three years searching for it without finding it.
When he began the fourth year, his heart longed to return to Egypt, and he said: " I shall depart tomorrow." So he said in his heart. When it had dawned and another day had come, he went to walk under the pine and spent the day searching for it. When he turned back in the evening, he looked once again in search of it and he found a fruit. He came back with it, and it was the heart of his young brother! He fetched a bowl of cool water, placed it in it, and sat down according to his daily custom.
When it had dawned and the next day had come, and the pine had been felled, Anubis, the elder brother of Bata, entered his house. He sat down to wash his hands. He was given a jug of beer, and it fermented. He was given another of wine, and it turned bad. Then he took his staff and his sandals, as well as his clothes and his weapons, and he started to journey to the Valley of the Pine. He entered the mansion of his young brother and found his young brother lying dead on his bed. He wept when he saw his young brother lying dead. He went to search for the heart of his young brother beneath the pine under which his young brother had slept in the evening. He spent three years searching for it without finding it.
When he began the fourth year, his heart longed to return to Egypt, and he said: " I shall depart tomorrow." So he said in his heart. When it had dawned and another day had come, he went to walk under the pine and spent the day searching for it. When he turned back in the evening, he looked once again in search of it and he found a fruit. He came back with it, and it was the heart of his young brother! He fetched a bowl of cool water, placed it in it, and sat down according to his daily custom.
Thursday 15 November 2007
The two brothers (part 6)
Now many days after this, when Bata had gone hunting according to his daily custom, the young girl went out to stroll under the pine which was next to her house. Then she saw the sea surging behind her, and she started to run before it and entered her house. Thereupon the sea called to the pine, saying: "Catch her for me!" And the pine took away a lock of her hair. Then the sea brought it to Egypt and laid it in the place of the washermen of Pharaoh. Thereafter the scent of the lock of hair got into the clothes of Pharaoh. And the king quarreled with the royal washermen, saying: "A scent of ointment is in the clothes of Pharaoh!" He quarreled with them every day, and the did not know what to do.
The chief of the royal washermen went to the shore, his heart very sore on account of the daily quarrel with him. Then he realised that he was standing on the shore opposite the lock of hair which was in the water. He had someone go down, and it was brought to him. Its scent was found to be very sweet, and he took it to Pharaoh.
Then the learned scribes of Pharaoh were summoned, and they said to Pharaoh: "As for this lock of hair, it belongs to a daughter of Pre-Harakhti in whom there is the fluid of every god. It is a greeting to you from another country. Let envoys go to every foreign land to search for her. As for the envoy who goes to the Valley of the Pine, let many men go with him to fetch her." His majesty said: "What you have said is very good." And they were sent.
The chief of the royal washermen went to the shore, his heart very sore on account of the daily quarrel with him. Then he realised that he was standing on the shore opposite the lock of hair which was in the water. He had someone go down, and it was brought to him. Its scent was found to be very sweet, and he took it to Pharaoh.
Then the learned scribes of Pharaoh were summoned, and they said to Pharaoh: "As for this lock of hair, it belongs to a daughter of Pre-Harakhti in whom there is the fluid of every god. It is a greeting to you from another country. Let envoys go to every foreign land to search for her. As for the envoy who goes to the Valley of the Pine, let many men go with him to fetch her." His majesty said: "What you have said is very good." And they were sent.
Saturday 10 November 2007
The two brothers (part 5)
Now many days after this, his young brother was in the Valley of the Pine. There was no one with him, and he spent the days hunting desert game. In the evening he returned to sleep under the pine on top of whose blossom his heart was. And after many days he built a mansion for himself with his own hand in the Valley of the Pine, filled with all good things, for he wanted to set up a household.
Coming out of his mansion, he encountered the Ennead as they walked about administering the entire land. Then the Ennead addressed him in unison, saying: "O Bata, bull of the Ennead, are you alone here, having left your town on account of the wife of Anubis, your elder brother? He has killed his wife and you are avenged of all the wrong done to you." And as they felt very sorry for him, Pre-Harakhti said to Khnum: "Fashion a wife for Bata, that he not live alone!" Then Khnum made a companion for him who was more beautiful in body than any woman in the whole land, for the fluid of every god was in her. Then the seven Hathors came to see her, and they said with one voice: " She will die by the knife."
He desired her very much. She sat in his house while he spent the day hunting desert game, bringing it and putting it before her. He said to her: " Do not go outdoors, lest the sea snatch you. I cannot rescue you from it, because I am a woman like you. And my heart lies on top of the blossom of the Pine. But if another finds it, I shall fight with him." Then he revealed to her all his thoughts.
Coming out of his mansion, he encountered the Ennead as they walked about administering the entire land. Then the Ennead addressed him in unison, saying: "O Bata, bull of the Ennead, are you alone here, having left your town on account of the wife of Anubis, your elder brother? He has killed his wife and you are avenged of all the wrong done to you." And as they felt very sorry for him, Pre-Harakhti said to Khnum: "Fashion a wife for Bata, that he not live alone!" Then Khnum made a companion for him who was more beautiful in body than any woman in the whole land, for the fluid of every god was in her. Then the seven Hathors came to see her, and they said with one voice: " She will die by the knife."
He desired her very much. She sat in his house while he spent the day hunting desert game, bringing it and putting it before her. He said to her: " Do not go outdoors, lest the sea snatch you. I cannot rescue you from it, because I am a woman like you. And my heart lies on top of the blossom of the Pine. But if another finds it, I shall fight with him." Then he revealed to her all his thoughts.
A ruined evening
Thanks to all the people who have shown concern for my well being.
I suppose I owe an explanation for my departure.
Last night was a total farce. Things were going along as they always had when some tosspot called careful told us to be just that.
Who the hell do they think they are. I'll tell you who they are, another anon for all intents and purposes and that's how I'll treat them thank you. They weren't brave enough to use an account name so anon they will be.
That blog belongs to mayo and mayo is the only one I will take orders from as to what to say. You know that I don't gossip out of respect to the family. I know we don't want to encourage outsiders. But be honest guys, face it, the blog is already out there. The damage has already been done. Who knows how many people lurk without commenting, loads I'll guess. Everyday we get more anons willing to put a name to themselves and open an account. These people have been lurking from the start. How many others are lurking in silence, who knows. But they've already seen it all and heard it all.
I have never said in words I am 100% sure mayo is ------ or ss is -------- (see, I'm still keeping it quiet out of respect).
My point here, is that we are smart enough not to do that. No-one needs to tell us, we already know. If mayo came on the blog or left a message at his location to say "let's not mention this" that's fine, OK, we won't. He hasn't done that, he lets the conversation flow. If He was so bothered, He would delete the remarks anyway people, remember that.
What I am mad about is how an anon called careful came on and suddenly became boss. Everybody ran round saying "oh, they are so right". As I've said, we don't need an anon telling us that.
I thought we knew how to deal with anons. We ignore them or bully them away. Why suddenly did the atmosphere change when careful appeared.
You all know what I am talking about, you all know how some of you behaved. Please don't feel like I think I am more important than I am, these are just my upset feelings.
I really don't understand why this was different. others noticed the change in atmosphere too and others didn't like it.
It was people's reactions to careful that caused all the upset. Why did you all do it? We should have gone "yeah, thanks for the heads up" and gone back to what we do best. But no, some people ran round like headless chickens. The result of following actions left others feeling excluded. And I certainly wasn't the only one to feel that way.
L, please don't upset yourself sweetie. I love you. The list did not upset me at all, I was near the top remember. You did that with all the best intentions and I know that. I hope you are not upset because you thought you'd pissed me off.
This is what triggered it. And I know I over reacted and I apologise but hear me out and you may understand why i felt so excluded.
I noticed someone ask about the kickball game. Someone replied that it was in the clinic, you'd already done it but if they were quick they could catch the end. The only other place I knew was d--c--s m--o( see, secret again).
I went over there and the first messages I saw were very conspiratorial ones talking about deleting stuff. You know who you are. I stayed in there and asked if this was the kickball place and no one fucking answered.
I went back to mayo's and asked there and no one fucking answered. I noticed that others, TJ for one, were also starting to feel excluded.
I kept asking around and no one fucking answered. A friend told me that they had been lurking at DM and had seen you deleting stuff. They had heard of a mayo clinic at a yahoo site. This may have been wrong info but that is what I was told. That person is a sweetie and they can't help it if what they thought turned out to be wrong.
That info, the dodgy conspiracy looking messages at the start of DM and other people at mayo's feeling excluded and no one fucking answering me, lead me to feel that i wasn't family enough to be included.
Maybe this was wrong but people's behaviour tonight led to those feelings,. I wasn't the only one to feel this way. I thought, enough is enough. This is stupid now and I'm not coming back until things get back to normal.
That is still how I feel. If things do get better I shall return. Until then goodbye.
P.S. I,m blaming no one but careful for this. I have no ill feelings for any family members.
I suppose I owe an explanation for my departure.
Last night was a total farce. Things were going along as they always had when some tosspot called careful told us to be just that.
Who the hell do they think they are. I'll tell you who they are, another anon for all intents and purposes and that's how I'll treat them thank you. They weren't brave enough to use an account name so anon they will be.
That blog belongs to mayo and mayo is the only one I will take orders from as to what to say. You know that I don't gossip out of respect to the family. I know we don't want to encourage outsiders. But be honest guys, face it, the blog is already out there. The damage has already been done. Who knows how many people lurk without commenting, loads I'll guess. Everyday we get more anons willing to put a name to themselves and open an account. These people have been lurking from the start. How many others are lurking in silence, who knows. But they've already seen it all and heard it all.
I have never said in words I am 100% sure mayo is ------ or ss is -------- (see, I'm still keeping it quiet out of respect).
My point here, is that we are smart enough not to do that. No-one needs to tell us, we already know. If mayo came on the blog or left a message at his location to say "let's not mention this" that's fine, OK, we won't. He hasn't done that, he lets the conversation flow. If He was so bothered, He would delete the remarks anyway people, remember that.
What I am mad about is how an anon called careful came on and suddenly became boss. Everybody ran round saying "oh, they are so right". As I've said, we don't need an anon telling us that.
I thought we knew how to deal with anons. We ignore them or bully them away. Why suddenly did the atmosphere change when careful appeared.
You all know what I am talking about, you all know how some of you behaved. Please don't feel like I think I am more important than I am, these are just my upset feelings.
I really don't understand why this was different. others noticed the change in atmosphere too and others didn't like it.
It was people's reactions to careful that caused all the upset. Why did you all do it? We should have gone "yeah, thanks for the heads up" and gone back to what we do best. But no, some people ran round like headless chickens. The result of following actions left others feeling excluded. And I certainly wasn't the only one to feel that way.
L, please don't upset yourself sweetie. I love you. The list did not upset me at all, I was near the top remember. You did that with all the best intentions and I know that. I hope you are not upset because you thought you'd pissed me off.
This is what triggered it. And I know I over reacted and I apologise but hear me out and you may understand why i felt so excluded.
I noticed someone ask about the kickball game. Someone replied that it was in the clinic, you'd already done it but if they were quick they could catch the end. The only other place I knew was d--c--s m--o( see, secret again).
I went over there and the first messages I saw were very conspiratorial ones talking about deleting stuff. You know who you are. I stayed in there and asked if this was the kickball place and no one fucking answered.
I went back to mayo's and asked there and no one fucking answered. I noticed that others, TJ for one, were also starting to feel excluded.
I kept asking around and no one fucking answered. A friend told me that they had been lurking at DM and had seen you deleting stuff. They had heard of a mayo clinic at a yahoo site. This may have been wrong info but that is what I was told. That person is a sweetie and they can't help it if what they thought turned out to be wrong.
That info, the dodgy conspiracy looking messages at the start of DM and other people at mayo's feeling excluded and no one fucking answering me, lead me to feel that i wasn't family enough to be included.
Maybe this was wrong but people's behaviour tonight led to those feelings,. I wasn't the only one to feel this way. I thought, enough is enough. This is stupid now and I'm not coming back until things get back to normal.
That is still how I feel. If things do get better I shall return. Until then goodbye.
P.S. I,m blaming no one but careful for this. I have no ill feelings for any family members.
Friday 9 November 2007
My life
I don't know if anyone will take the time to read this but hello anyway.
I guess you know me from my comments on Mayo's page, and BC's if you go there too.
As you've probably noticed, I like to chip in with the funny remarks. I'm not one for the deep empassioned speeches like sdock10. I couldn't compete, her words are so beautiful. I just prefer to make people smile.
I'm a nice friendly person, I get along with everyone from all walks of life. I'm lucky to have never been bullied, maybe because I find it so easy to get on with people.
I unlike some people on blogland was fortunate enough to love school. I loved college and I loved Uni. Most of you know I did Egyptology. It is totally my passion. Unfortunately, to do anything in this field as a profession, you need more qualifications than just a degree. My finances never allowed me to take it further but it will always be my first love.
The next biggest thing in my life was losing my father at 55 yrs. This happened in 2002. I will share the story.
After leaving Uni, I came back home. I couldn't afford my own place. One day dad was out on the driveway when he just collapsed. My mum was screaming, and I went out to see. He was rolling on the ground and his lips had turned blue.
Sorry, I am crying my eyes out as I write this, excuse any mistakes
He was having trouble breathing and then he stopped. I tried mouth to mouth and managed to bring him back about three times but he kept slipping away. The ambulance came and they worked on him and took him away. When we reached the hospital they told us he was gone. I was heartbroken.
The cause of death was an enlarged heart, there's nothing you can do about that.
It was so hard having to ring people and tell them. That time all passed in a blur, yet most of it seems like only yesterday. My sis had gone to her boyfriends so she had to come to the hospital after the fact. I would've hated that. I'm so glad I was there. At least I can say that I tried. I'm so glad that at the end, I was the closest I could be to him because his last breathe was mine.
I'm just so glad that I made him proud. He was so proud that both his girls finished Uni. We are not from an affluent background and this made him so proud. He always used to say,"you girls have never brought the police to my door or caused me grief". God, I miss him.
After that for some reason I started to hate my nan, his mum. I felt so cheated, it wasn't the natural way, she should have gone first. She was in a nursing home and for a long time, I couldn't visit, I wouldn't visit. She had dementia towards the end and we never told her about dad. As mum said, the shock would kill her.
I eventually brought myself to visit after mum told me that she probably wasn't going to be around for too long and it really wasn't her fault. I knew it wasn't but I still felt so angry.
I'm glad I went to visit. We had a laugh and it was the last time I saw her. I'll always have that last memory of laughing with her. At her funeral one year after dad's I just kept feeling that dad should have been there.
The following year, my 25yr old cousin was killed. He was knocked down trying to cross a motorway. We have no idea what he was doing there and I guess we never will. I miss him so much. he was one of the funniest people I knew.
That was 2002, 2003, 2004.
2006, my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. Luckily, she has made a total recovery. It just seems to be one thing on top of another.
After all this, I needed a rest. I quit my job at a hospital to spend more time with mum. God I needed a break. I'm still living with her. I don't know if I'll ever leave now. I couldn't leave her alone and she doesn't want me to go.
I guess what I try to do with my humor is make people laugh and get along. We should all get along with people more cos you don't know when those people will be gone.
My dad was gone as fast as you can click your fingers, my nan and cousin also. ( my nan just stopped breathing one day, simple as. No suffering thank god). People will tell you it is a good way for the people who have gone because they didn't have time to suffer. But for the people left behind, you have nothing but time to suffer.
Mum is fine and now I'm looking for a job. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and this depresses me so much. I envy people who have a clear dream and are able to follow it.
All I know is that ordinary life holds no interest for me. I've never wanted to settle down and have kids. Never wanted an ordinary 9 to 5. I guess this is why I am still on anti depressants. Yes, me, the one that makes you all laugh is actually depressed. I think if I didn't spend time laughing, I really would end it all.
A lot of the time, I really hate my life. I have no idea what I want to do with it. All I know is that I'm not happy with normality.
I also have a nuisance neighbour who is an alcoholic. He likes to play loud music so sleep is precious to me. I never seem to get enough these days.
I try to make the most of the little things like family and friends and laughing with them. I now class you among those friends.
I hope you now understand me a little more. I hope I don't piss you off with my need to lighten the mood sometimes.
Thank you for listening. Sorry this was so long.
I guess you know me from my comments on Mayo's page, and BC's if you go there too.
As you've probably noticed, I like to chip in with the funny remarks. I'm not one for the deep empassioned speeches like sdock10. I couldn't compete, her words are so beautiful. I just prefer to make people smile.
I'm a nice friendly person, I get along with everyone from all walks of life. I'm lucky to have never been bullied, maybe because I find it so easy to get on with people.
I unlike some people on blogland was fortunate enough to love school. I loved college and I loved Uni. Most of you know I did Egyptology. It is totally my passion. Unfortunately, to do anything in this field as a profession, you need more qualifications than just a degree. My finances never allowed me to take it further but it will always be my first love.
The next biggest thing in my life was losing my father at 55 yrs. This happened in 2002. I will share the story.
After leaving Uni, I came back home. I couldn't afford my own place. One day dad was out on the driveway when he just collapsed. My mum was screaming, and I went out to see. He was rolling on the ground and his lips had turned blue.
Sorry, I am crying my eyes out as I write this, excuse any mistakes
He was having trouble breathing and then he stopped. I tried mouth to mouth and managed to bring him back about three times but he kept slipping away. The ambulance came and they worked on him and took him away. When we reached the hospital they told us he was gone. I was heartbroken.
The cause of death was an enlarged heart, there's nothing you can do about that.
It was so hard having to ring people and tell them. That time all passed in a blur, yet most of it seems like only yesterday. My sis had gone to her boyfriends so she had to come to the hospital after the fact. I would've hated that. I'm so glad I was there. At least I can say that I tried. I'm so glad that at the end, I was the closest I could be to him because his last breathe was mine.
I'm just so glad that I made him proud. He was so proud that both his girls finished Uni. We are not from an affluent background and this made him so proud. He always used to say,"you girls have never brought the police to my door or caused me grief". God, I miss him.
After that for some reason I started to hate my nan, his mum. I felt so cheated, it wasn't the natural way, she should have gone first. She was in a nursing home and for a long time, I couldn't visit, I wouldn't visit. She had dementia towards the end and we never told her about dad. As mum said, the shock would kill her.
I eventually brought myself to visit after mum told me that she probably wasn't going to be around for too long and it really wasn't her fault. I knew it wasn't but I still felt so angry.
I'm glad I went to visit. We had a laugh and it was the last time I saw her. I'll always have that last memory of laughing with her. At her funeral one year after dad's I just kept feeling that dad should have been there.
The following year, my 25yr old cousin was killed. He was knocked down trying to cross a motorway. We have no idea what he was doing there and I guess we never will. I miss him so much. he was one of the funniest people I knew.
That was 2002, 2003, 2004.
2006, my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. Luckily, she has made a total recovery. It just seems to be one thing on top of another.
After all this, I needed a rest. I quit my job at a hospital to spend more time with mum. God I needed a break. I'm still living with her. I don't know if I'll ever leave now. I couldn't leave her alone and she doesn't want me to go.
I guess what I try to do with my humor is make people laugh and get along. We should all get along with people more cos you don't know when those people will be gone.
My dad was gone as fast as you can click your fingers, my nan and cousin also. ( my nan just stopped breathing one day, simple as. No suffering thank god). People will tell you it is a good way for the people who have gone because they didn't have time to suffer. But for the people left behind, you have nothing but time to suffer.
Mum is fine and now I'm looking for a job. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and this depresses me so much. I envy people who have a clear dream and are able to follow it.
All I know is that ordinary life holds no interest for me. I've never wanted to settle down and have kids. Never wanted an ordinary 9 to 5. I guess this is why I am still on anti depressants. Yes, me, the one that makes you all laugh is actually depressed. I think if I didn't spend time laughing, I really would end it all.
A lot of the time, I really hate my life. I have no idea what I want to do with it. All I know is that I'm not happy with normality.
I also have a nuisance neighbour who is an alcoholic. He likes to play loud music so sleep is precious to me. I never seem to get enough these days.
I try to make the most of the little things like family and friends and laughing with them. I now class you among those friends.
I hope you now understand me a little more. I hope I don't piss you off with my need to lighten the mood sometimes.
Thank you for listening. Sorry this was so long.
Tuesday 6 November 2007
The two brothers (part 4)
Now when it dawned and another day had come, and Pre-Harakhti had risen, one gazed at the other. Then the youth rebuked his elder brother, saying: "What is your coming after me to kill me wrongfully, without having listened to my words? For I am yet your young brother, and you are like a father to me, and your wife is like a mother to me. Is it not so that when I was sent to fetch seed for us your wife said to me: 'Come, let us spend an hour lying together?' But look, it has been turned around for you into another thing." Then he let him know all that had happened between him and his wife. And he swore by Pre-Harakhti, saying: "As to your coming to kill me wrongfully, you carried your spear on the testimony of a filthy whore!" Then he took a reed knife, cut off his phallus, and threw it into the water; and the catfish swallowed it. And he grew weak and became feeble. And his elder brother became very sick at heart and stood weeping for him loudly. He could not cross over to where his young brother was on account of the crocodiles.
Then his young brother called to him, saying: "If you recall something evil, will you not also recall something good, or something that I have done for you? Go back to your home and tend your cattle, for I shall not stay in the place where you are. I shall go to the Valley of the Pine. But what you shall do for me is to come and look after me, when you learn that something has happened to me. I shall take out my heart and place it on top of the blossom of the pine. If the pine is cut down and falls to the ground, you shall come to search for it. If you spend seven years searching for it, let your heart not be disgusted. And when you find it and place it in a bowl of cool water, I shall live to take revenge on him who wronged me. You will know that something has happened to me when one puts a jug of beer in your hand and it ferments. Do not delay at all when this happens to you."
Then he went away to the Valley of the Pine; and his elder brother went to his home, his hand on his head and smeared with dirt. When he reached his house, he killed his wife, cast her to the dogs, and sat mourning for his young brother.
Then his young brother called to him, saying: "If you recall something evil, will you not also recall something good, or something that I have done for you? Go back to your home and tend your cattle, for I shall not stay in the place where you are. I shall go to the Valley of the Pine. But what you shall do for me is to come and look after me, when you learn that something has happened to me. I shall take out my heart and place it on top of the blossom of the pine. If the pine is cut down and falls to the ground, you shall come to search for it. If you spend seven years searching for it, let your heart not be disgusted. And when you find it and place it in a bowl of cool water, I shall live to take revenge on him who wronged me. You will know that something has happened to me when one puts a jug of beer in your hand and it ferments. Do not delay at all when this happens to you."
Then he went away to the Valley of the Pine; and his elder brother went to his home, his hand on his head and smeared with dirt. When he reached his house, he killed his wife, cast her to the dogs, and sat mourning for his young brother.
Sunday 4 November 2007
101
1. What is your favorite color? Yellow
2. You can choose to have one superpower- what would you pick? To speak and see the dead
3. What is your favorite book? Anything by Robert Rankin
4. Were you ever arrested? No.
5. Do you have a favorite pet? I have one cockatiel called yellers
6. What is your favorite condiment? Malt vinegar
7. How tall are you? About 5'7" or 5'8"
8. What don't you ever leave home without? Phone, lip balm, credit card
9. Can you burp the alphabet? No
10. What loss has been the most devastating? My dad and cousin
11. What do you do when you're nervous? I go quiet
12. What is your lucky number? Nine
13. Did you ever shoot a gun? Yes
14. Were you born with any birth defects? No
15. What sport do you enjoy watching the most? Football and F1
16. What sport do you enjoy participating in the most? Ten pin bowling
17. Have you ever contemplated suicide? Yes
18. What is your favorite flavor of bubble gum? Orange
19. What personality trait is the most important? Honesty.
20. How many times a week do you pleasure yourself? Maybe once or twice
21. You must give up one of your five senses- which can you live without? Smell
22. What is your favorite scent? Strawberries
23. What is your favorite sound? My cockatiel whistling
24. What is your favorite thing to look at? The sea
25. What is your favorite thing to touch? Velvet
26. What is your favorite flavor? Strawberry
27. Did you ever call a phone sex number? Hell no
28. Who would you like to say thank you to? MCR for their music. Mum and dad for raising me
29. What topic is your favorite to talk about? Foot ball, F1, Egypt
30. Who are your top 3 girl crushes? None
31. Who are your top 3 guy crushes? Gerard Way, Nico Rosberg, Giancarlo Fisichella
32. What is on your favorite sandwich? salad
33. Do you ever read your horoscope? Only in the Sunday papers
34. What is the best thing about your gender? I enjoy being strong willed.
35. What is the best thing about the opposite gender? Manual labour jobs
36. Did you ever buy something from a TV infomercial? No.
37. What has been your favorite job? Working at the crown court as an usher
38. You have to dye your hair a mix of two colors, which do you choose? Purple and pink
39. What is your favorite snack food? Walkers salt and vinegar crisps
40. Do you collect anything? CDs and DVDs. Sunglasses, Robert Rankin books
41. A book is being written about you...title suggestion? "Are you sure you wanna do this"
42. When did you last pray? Never
43. How many tattoos do you have? One dolphin at the moment but wanting more.
44. Who makes you laugh the most? Vic and Bob, IT crowd, Blackadder, Monty Python
45. What is your favorite quote? I find it decadent to the point of heresy
46. Do you still have your favorite childhood toy? Yes
47. What are you most often complemented on? How Friendly I am
48. What CD do you listen to the most? Manic street preachers greatest hits
49. If you got to choose, how would you die? Peacefully in my sleep.
50. How many piercings do you have? Three, ears, nose and navel
51. Are you left or right handed? Right
52. What is your favorite beverage? Dr Pepper
53. Can you change a flat tire? Yes
54. When do you feel you are most attractive? When I've shaved legs,underarms and bikini area.
55. What event made the most impact on your life? My dad dying
56. Which "ex" do you miss the most? None. I had mostly crushes.
57. What celebrity would have the coolest nervous breakdown? Paris Hilton
58. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? Vodka Blue
59. How do you top the perfect sundae? Lots of chocolate syrup
60. What TV show do you secretly watch? Hollyoakes
61. What is your favorite outfit? Jeans and a band shirt and a hoodie
62. What is your least favorite household chore? I won't go near an iron cos I'm scared of them
63. What is the strangest trick your body can do? I can make snooker players on TV miss by covering the pocket with my hand. Very strange but true.
64. What was the best gift you ever got? My car. An old '69 Beetle
65. Which of the seven sins do you commit the most? Greed
66. What is your favorite charity? RSPCA
67. Which language do you wish you knew? Italian and Spanish
68. What would you have named yourself? I used to like Lindsay until a certain person came along
69. What is your best contribution to the world? My ability to befriend all walks off life.
70. What song are you embarrassed to admit knowing all the words to? S club 7
71. What song gets stuck in your head most often? Comedy ones
72. You can kill one person and get away with it. Who should I warn? Right now, I'll go for LynZ
73. What is your perfect meal? Pizza. Hands down.
74. What one color would you obliterate from the planet? Pink
75. Do you have a favorite car? My beetle
76. What physical quality of yours do you like the most? My little feet, hands and wrists.
77. What is your favorite season? Summer
78. What is your worst habit? Excessive spending beyond my means
79. Do you bite your tongue or tell them like it is? Depends on the person.
80. What is your favorite holiday? Halloween, Christmas.
81. If you could visit a different county, which would it be? Japan, Italy, Egypt(again)
82. What was your favorite childhood game? Monopoly
83. What do people need more of? Compassion
84. What do people need less of? Aggression
85. What's the scariest thing in your fridge? Anything dodgy mum puts in there
86. What is your favorite sexual position? Not fussy
87. Do you have a hidden talent? reading hieroglyphs
88. What was the worst part of your childhood?The death of pets
89. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? My laziness
90. What do you fear the most? Never feeling that I would accomplish and reach for my goals and achieve them. It makes me feel incomplete
91. Which would you rather be a contestant on- American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance or America's Next Top Model? Neither
92. Which would you rather attend- the opera, a poetry recital or a random lecture? random lecture.
93. Would you ever bare your soul to a stranger in a letter? It depends on the stranger
94. When are you at your happiest? With all my family and friends round me.
95. What is your favorite game as an adult? trivial pursuits
96. What celebrity would you most like to have dinner with? Elvis, Freddie mercury
97. What time period do you wish you lived in? Ancient Egypt.
98. Which TV personality would you want a one night hook up with? Ant or Dec
99. What friend do you miss the most? Mohammed
100. What one thing will you try not to do again? Allowing my life to slip away
101. Why did you want to answer these questions? It looked like fun
2. You can choose to have one superpower- what would you pick? To speak and see the dead
3. What is your favorite book? Anything by Robert Rankin
4. Were you ever arrested? No.
5. Do you have a favorite pet? I have one cockatiel called yellers
6. What is your favorite condiment? Malt vinegar
7. How tall are you? About 5'7" or 5'8"
8. What don't you ever leave home without? Phone, lip balm, credit card
9. Can you burp the alphabet? No
10. What loss has been the most devastating? My dad and cousin
11. What do you do when you're nervous? I go quiet
12. What is your lucky number? Nine
13. Did you ever shoot a gun? Yes
14. Were you born with any birth defects? No
15. What sport do you enjoy watching the most? Football and F1
16. What sport do you enjoy participating in the most? Ten pin bowling
17. Have you ever contemplated suicide? Yes
18. What is your favorite flavor of bubble gum? Orange
19. What personality trait is the most important? Honesty.
20. How many times a week do you pleasure yourself? Maybe once or twice
21. You must give up one of your five senses- which can you live without? Smell
22. What is your favorite scent? Strawberries
23. What is your favorite sound? My cockatiel whistling
24. What is your favorite thing to look at? The sea
25. What is your favorite thing to touch? Velvet
26. What is your favorite flavor? Strawberry
27. Did you ever call a phone sex number? Hell no
28. Who would you like to say thank you to? MCR for their music. Mum and dad for raising me
29. What topic is your favorite to talk about? Foot ball, F1, Egypt
30. Who are your top 3 girl crushes? None
31. Who are your top 3 guy crushes? Gerard Way, Nico Rosberg, Giancarlo Fisichella
32. What is on your favorite sandwich? salad
33. Do you ever read your horoscope? Only in the Sunday papers
34. What is the best thing about your gender? I enjoy being strong willed.
35. What is the best thing about the opposite gender? Manual labour jobs
36. Did you ever buy something from a TV infomercial? No.
37. What has been your favorite job? Working at the crown court as an usher
38. You have to dye your hair a mix of two colors, which do you choose? Purple and pink
39. What is your favorite snack food? Walkers salt and vinegar crisps
40. Do you collect anything? CDs and DVDs. Sunglasses, Robert Rankin books
41. A book is being written about you...title suggestion? "Are you sure you wanna do this"
42. When did you last pray? Never
43. How many tattoos do you have? One dolphin at the moment but wanting more.
44. Who makes you laugh the most? Vic and Bob, IT crowd, Blackadder, Monty Python
45. What is your favorite quote? I find it decadent to the point of heresy
46. Do you still have your favorite childhood toy? Yes
47. What are you most often complemented on? How Friendly I am
48. What CD do you listen to the most? Manic street preachers greatest hits
49. If you got to choose, how would you die? Peacefully in my sleep.
50. How many piercings do you have? Three, ears, nose and navel
51. Are you left or right handed? Right
52. What is your favorite beverage? Dr Pepper
53. Can you change a flat tire? Yes
54. When do you feel you are most attractive? When I've shaved legs,underarms and bikini area.
55. What event made the most impact on your life? My dad dying
56. Which "ex" do you miss the most? None. I had mostly crushes.
57. What celebrity would have the coolest nervous breakdown? Paris Hilton
58. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? Vodka Blue
59. How do you top the perfect sundae? Lots of chocolate syrup
60. What TV show do you secretly watch? Hollyoakes
61. What is your favorite outfit? Jeans and a band shirt and a hoodie
62. What is your least favorite household chore? I won't go near an iron cos I'm scared of them
63. What is the strangest trick your body can do? I can make snooker players on TV miss by covering the pocket with my hand. Very strange but true.
64. What was the best gift you ever got? My car. An old '69 Beetle
65. Which of the seven sins do you commit the most? Greed
66. What is your favorite charity? RSPCA
67. Which language do you wish you knew? Italian and Spanish
68. What would you have named yourself? I used to like Lindsay until a certain person came along
69. What is your best contribution to the world? My ability to befriend all walks off life.
70. What song are you embarrassed to admit knowing all the words to? S club 7
71. What song gets stuck in your head most often? Comedy ones
72. You can kill one person and get away with it. Who should I warn? Right now, I'll go for LynZ
73. What is your perfect meal? Pizza. Hands down.
74. What one color would you obliterate from the planet? Pink
75. Do you have a favorite car? My beetle
76. What physical quality of yours do you like the most? My little feet, hands and wrists.
77. What is your favorite season? Summer
78. What is your worst habit? Excessive spending beyond my means
79. Do you bite your tongue or tell them like it is? Depends on the person.
80. What is your favorite holiday? Halloween, Christmas.
81. If you could visit a different county, which would it be? Japan, Italy, Egypt(again)
82. What was your favorite childhood game? Monopoly
83. What do people need more of? Compassion
84. What do people need less of? Aggression
85. What's the scariest thing in your fridge? Anything dodgy mum puts in there
86. What is your favorite sexual position? Not fussy
87. Do you have a hidden talent? reading hieroglyphs
88. What was the worst part of your childhood?The death of pets
89. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? My laziness
90. What do you fear the most? Never feeling that I would accomplish and reach for my goals and achieve them. It makes me feel incomplete
91. Which would you rather be a contestant on- American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance or America's Next Top Model? Neither
92. Which would you rather attend- the opera, a poetry recital or a random lecture? random lecture.
93. Would you ever bare your soul to a stranger in a letter? It depends on the stranger
94. When are you at your happiest? With all my family and friends round me.
95. What is your favorite game as an adult? trivial pursuits
96. What celebrity would you most like to have dinner with? Elvis, Freddie mercury
97. What time period do you wish you lived in? Ancient Egypt.
98. Which TV personality would you want a one night hook up with? Ant or Dec
99. What friend do you miss the most? Mohammed
100. What one thing will you try not to do again? Allowing my life to slip away
101. Why did you want to answer these questions? It looked like fun
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